Friday, November 7, 2008

Tales from the Drunk Side: Robots and Empire

Sometimes, I wonder why people take leadership positions.

Aside from the money, I find no other reason.

I mean, what is the worth of two seconds of approval from one person, a year? Would it matter, on your death bed?

The responsibility that comes with it is tremendous. The sword of Damocles hanging over your head. The poisoned chalice. Blablabla.

The loneliness of command.

Sometimes, I find myself thrust into it because, simply, I do not trust anyone else to do the right thing. People are so easily corrupted.

Even the best of us find themselves saying, "I have to look out for myself."

And then they whine for centuries, "Why am I not appreciated enough? Boo hoo hoo!" And no matter how much people appreciate them it will never be enough.

Well, maybe because you do not, really, honestly, appreciate people? I don't know. I am not your judge. You are.

People are weak.

Same thing with my parents. I was so depressed at one time in my life, that I considered suicide.

Then I thought, you know, if I die, my parents have to bury me. They have heart problems and hypertension. They are not meant to bury their children. They are not strong enough. I am. And yet sometimes, I wish I was not.

It is not fair to ask that of them. And yes, the world is not fair. Why the fuck am I STILL not a millionaire? DESPITE being Najib's nephew?

Why aren't all of you on your knees right now, gargling my dick?

The world is not fair. Get over it.

Still, I do not believe that you have to suffer in order to achieve something. That's victim-talk. And we have too many victims already. I fucking hate victims.

And with any situation, there are great opportunities as well.

Faced with dire situations, numbers, figures, names and dates fly inside my head. Schematics and plans swim before my retina. I run simulations inside my head.

I know the answer. I have it.

People sometimes are afraid to say what they want and what they want to do for fear of being embarrassed. I took care of that a looooong time ago.

One time, I was hailing a cab, from Press Club, flat on my ass, puking by the roadside and crying to my phone.

I cast away my dignity a loooong time ago.

You cannot corrupt me with sex because five years of training with Thai prostitutes taught me the real value of sex - 50 bucks.

Money can't buy me. Only a ridiculously large amount of money can. USD400 million. Cash. Tax-free.

For USD400 million, I'll backstab anyone.

If I am wrong, so what? I do what I can, and I do what I believe in. And I believe Anwar is an asshole, and I will never do him.

I am not a gentleman. I am far from noble. Though I am, slightly, of noble blood. And I have a pair of Nobleman underwear.

For all intents and purposes, I am a barbarian. Barbarian at the gates! Of hell.

When I yell at a corpse, potions and weapons come out.

I am also a robot. A tin man. For I cast my heart from me a looooong time ago. The thing that exists is my dick.

Barbarian Robot. And I shall carve a kingdom for myself with my own hands, and I shall wear my crown upon a troubled brow.