Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Intermission: Endgame

Oh, wow. Lots of interesting stuff these two days. I'm still editing some videos, writing some stuff, and I have people I need to meet.

Things are coming together in many different ways. The wheels keep on turning. The karmic wheel hangs in the balance.

People can do or say whatever. I have my goals and I'm focusing only on things that matter. Fuck everything else.

I don't need to prove myself. I have done everything I ever wanted to do before I'm 30. Now it's just stuff to do before I retire. I have 10 or 20 years to save enough funds for my retirement. I'm not a civil servant, with a pension. And I don't kiss ass, or ally myself with any political camp, preferring to go at things alone.

So I'll never head a company (actually, I did), to make enough money in a year to fuck off and retire.

Oh well. We shall see.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Soundtrack Today

Lynas Lynas Lynas

"Ha, filem ko bila keluo? 29 Februari ke?"

Abang aku call aku dari Kuantan. Dia dah duduk situ lebih 40 tahun dah.

Aku: Tu tajuk dia je. Keluar later this year kot. Eh, amacam Lynas?

Abang: Ha, pasal apa Lynas?

Aku: Tak gi berarak?

Abang: Nak buat mende? Bodoh je tu. Saja nak main politik. Lepas tu bodoh. Tak tau apa, nak berarak. Takde sapa pedulilah benda tu.

Orang Kuantan pun tak kecoh, Anwar nak jaja lubang jubur taik dia buat apa?

Camnilah. Aku ada tanah sikit kat Kuantan tu. Kalau Najib nak buat loji nuklear, aku sanggup jual tanah kat situ. Harga boleh bincang, tapi tak kurang RM10 juta seekar la.

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Monday, February 27, 2012

The Boron Ultimatum: Boron (World's Most Boring Man) Levels Up!

Today, I went to the office cause there was supposed to be a day-long meeting somewhere. I had hoped to finish a few things in the morning, pass some files before going for that thing after lunch.

A cursory glance, a surprise meeting and the realisation that since most of the creative guys went for the thing, I was stuck with doing everything myself. Well, not everything. I meant everything I hoped to pass on for processing, was now mine to do.

Luckily, I had good teachers, and one of them at least was around.

I had, at the beginning of the day, one story to do, 400 pictures to process, around six hours of video, a website content to write and proof, assorted social media updates and various project papers to oversee.

I started in a round robin structure - doing everything all at once. That resulted in a deadlock, so I began doing things one at a time. Seeing n00bs around made me think - time to farm out! So I got some of the young kids experience by doing some of the stuff.

Meanwhile, I was also feeding another team at another site ideas for a thing.

After a Herculean period, where I was besieged by some who believe I only take care of one thing, when in reality, I am involved with several different things, I managed to fulfill all requirements.

The best thing about today is that I learned some skills in Photoshop that could increase my efficiency by 30%. Level UP!

Some people believe I shy away from work, or from negativity. They have never seen me work at The Malay Mail until I was hospitalised - four times, motherfucker. One of the times required surgery.

See, my approach to work is that I can always learn something new, and the people I appreciate most are those who could show me new ways to do things.

Nothing I can and will do will be harder than watering a quarter acre of corn, when I was 17 years old. Each hole a foot apart, and each hole must be watered by bending over with a full can of water. Why? Because my father believes in only one thing in his life - hard work and child slavery.

Back breaking work under the hot Kuantan sun. A quarter of an acre, every single morning. The reward? We get to eat corn. To this day, I buy corn and I think, "So much motherfucking drama over this bullshit."

And then there was a time when I tried to carry a 50kg cement bag. Nothing in this world, no burden, is heavier than a 50kg bag of poisonous cement.

So say what you want, throw whatever at me. See if I give a shit. I have been to hell. I have been a slave. There is nothing anyone can do that is harder than corn.

I have been tired for the past two weeks, though, and I am taking two days off this week, since I worked over the weekend. The two days, though, will be spent editing the video I captured, and guiding some young people through some project papers and a presentation. So it's not really two days off.

And as I have learned today, as I received some very good phone calls, in the end, God is fair. Life is not, but God is fair. And therefore, so is Lucifer!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Stupid Lynas

As I was working the whole day, I didn't have the time to address the Lynas bullshit coming down in my hometown - Kuantan. This issue is close to me because my entire family is there. My father, mother, sister, brother, nephews, uncles both Chinese and Malay, cousins - everyone.

Lynas. Pfft. Stupid motherfuckers can't even defend themselves properly. And everyone else can't do shit BECAUSE THEY DO NOT HAVE INFORMATION.

1. Thorium - the radioactive element in question concerning rare-earth plants - emits radiation, yes, in the form of alpha waves. Alpha waves can be stopped by a thin piece of paper. You got more radiation from your fucking TV or cellphone. The only thing you need to do is wear paper armour and you will get cancer faster with smoking than be exposed to Thorium. It's only dangerous if you eat it, and I don't think Lynas is trying to come up with food additives or some shit.

2. The UN's IAEA already came and said that rare-earth plants are safe. I got some sources who went to the briefing where he/she said a video was shown about an ex-rare-earth plant site in Canada, where now there is a children's playground.

3. That PIS-M (Parti Islam Se-Malaysia) nuclear physicist dude already said he disagrees with Kuantan MP Fuziah. Rare earth plants can be safe.

4. The only thing that can make a rare-earth plant unsafe is the handling of the wastes. That, to me, is the only question. I don't want to eat Thorium, so ship that shit to China, where they don't give a shit.

That Lynas probably got the contract through some dodgy means means that an investigation is due and heads SHOULD roll if that is the case. But Lynas' greatest failure is not communicating their shit.

What I hate are two things:

1. Scaremongering through stupidity. It seems to these people that all things radioactive is dangerous. Maybe, but then stop using any electronics, dumbass. I hate stupidity and misleading information as much as no information.

2. No information. Lynas did not and does not communicate any information whatsoever. All I've read are from the Internet. As such, I might be entirely wrong. Stupid Lynas did not disseminate their information effectively. STUPID. STUPID! STUUUPID!

3. People politicising the issue and taking advantage of the people of Kuantan, in the interest of their anuses.

4. Okay, that's three - four now - but fuck it! NO INFORMATION! I cannot move, I will not move without information, because those who do that are just stupid and would also look stupid. Not knowing the full story, simply jumping up and down like an ape in heat. Like an autistic baboon.

Okay, time to masturbate.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

House of M: Magic and Mystery

Internet, social media, whatever - they are not magic. It's not some obscure bullshit medium where you gain traction by being weird.

It's just that - a medium. The rules are somewhat different, as how writing for newspapers and writing for magazines are different. How writing for TV and the big screen are different things. Animation is different than live action. Even 3D movies speak with their own language.

But the core remains the same. All communication is, is just two souls connecting with one another. Just that. And the one thing you can't duplicate, is the human soul. If you start out as a soulless bastard, that's all you'll ever end up with - hollow, shallow bullshit.

This is where the being trumps the doing. Have depth. Don't do what you believe is expected of you. I've been to shit where young kids, who are supposed to be the ultimate rebels, present shit they believe will please old people. Fuck old people. Seriously.

In this brave new world bullshit, the young lead the way. Me? I'm fucking ancient. I come from a generation whose role is to destroy. We do not build. We find the stupid shit in a system, and we destroy it. That is the role of Generation X - the destroyers of the world.

Built for it, bred for it. We have destroyed so many things, in our lifetime. So, so many things.

The last thing I want to see before I die, is the setting up of a mirror system or culture that was started by the self-indulgent, self-important, selfish baby boomers. Those fucktards ruined our world. Don't repeat their mistakes.

But do not discard the shit that works. There is no need to reinvent the wheel, just build better cars.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Intoxication and Meditation

So I was out drinking tea with a friend when I got a distress call from another friend.

Me: Oh, care for a spot of tea, m'dear?

Friend: Of course. Why? We're ladies! We're LADIES!

Phone: Fucking pick me up, motherfucker!

Friend 2 (phone): Amir, I need help. Pimp signal!

She was a bit sick from ingesting some liver-wasters, so she asked to stay at my place tonight.

And so, a quiet evening alone turns into a story about me sleeping on the couch. I haven't had proper rest for two weeks now. Since I am now a morning person, I wake up at 7am every day, where I spend the first two hours staring at my computer, reading, sometimes drooling on my t-shirt.

This continues even during weekends, and I am sometimes surprised to find myself at Bangsar's morning market, buying vegetables and stuff on a Saturday morning. Or having breakfast at Lucky Garden on Sundays.

So I'm going to fall back on my training, in order to restore my energy levels. Imma fucking meditate.

And also, painkillers. Nothing too heavy. I need to sleep before 2am, tonight, so off I go.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Secret Life of Boron (World's Most Boring Man): Berserker Barrage

My brain is tired. My body is not. I am mentally fatigued, really. This is a side effect of having an over-active imagination. If I'm not careful, I'll convince myself to go into burnout phase, where I won't be able to write for weeks.

Having burned out four times before - ending up hospitalised each time with physical manifestations of mental emo bullshit - I know enough how to get out of it.

First, some good porn. Then, a mindless action flick. Then a really, really sad dog movie. Then Eckhart Tolle. And then meditation. And sleep.

I have three hours. Clock starts now.

Words That We Couldn't Say

I have no morals. Almost all religions would most probably condemn me to hell. I suffer no delusion that God would make me a special case.

The only thing I do have, is my own warped sense of bullshit ethics.

There are lines I would not cross. At whatever cost. Even if it means my life, which is not as precious to me as freedom.

Blablabla. Some analogies thrown in. Masturbation references. Ending with reference to religion.


Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Pesanan Penaja

Kompeni aku (tempat aku keje, bukan kompeni aku punya) buat blog, nak jual baju:

TWITTER: @bajugraphy

Pergila tengok. Pastu beli la, kalau best.

Berikut adalah saiz 'model-model' kat situ:

The following are the measurements of our gorgeous models:

154 cm
Bust: 31.5
Waist: 27
Hips: 34.5
UK 8

Height: 157 cm
Bust: 32
Waist: 27
Hips: 33.5
UK 8

Height: 166 cm
Bust: 33
Waist: 28.5
Hips: 37
UK 10

Sunday, February 19, 2012


It is Sunday, and after a very full Saturday, I have an extremely busy Sunday as well. There's a meeting, of sorts, and no less than three documents to finish.

Last night I watched a skit show - Projek Disko Baldi (hits and misses, and I believe it belongs more on TV than on stage) and consulted with one of the few creative writers I hold any regard for in this country.

I have also decided that I will only buy a dslr that can record HD movies when I have a reason to. For example, if I am commissioned to do a video, for pay, or to shoot sample scenes of a movie I am proposing.

While having a camera would mean I would be honing my skills, I see no valid financial reason for me to get it now. Like, right now.

Very wary is buying this camera would just be an extension of the ego, and not because of any proper, solid, or sound reasoning.

I would do better with a stove, really. A big one, probably with an oven.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Buying a Camera (For Video)

If I talk about something a lot, I may just NOT do it. So here's my last feeble attempt at sabotaging my other attempt at finally buying a dSLR that can record videos.

I was handed a miniDV camera some weeks ago for a Bandung-Jakarta assignment and the result was... horrible. I do not have surgeon hands, nor steady hands that could properly capture video. I do have solar hands, though, that would be great in baking bread, or massaging firm, supple, women's breasts.

If you could see me, with the camera in hand, I was doing my best impersonation of Gun-Kata.

Which means that if I was fighting emotionless rogue Tetragammaton clerics - or Batman - in a gunfight, I could have won. But the footage came back jumpy and wonky. It wasn't helped that I shot most of it on a moving bus.

Nevertheless, as I was taught by the video people in my current company on editing the footage, I got hooked on it. My editing of videos before consisted of me simply sitting beside the editor and telling him, her or he-she what to cut. I'm now doing it on my own as I can't stomach the thought of letting others puke at my shaky cam recordings.

So I have decided that it's time to get an entry-level dSLR that can record video and do some stupid shit.

I have long promoted against buying Canon, because Canon makes good printers. Nikon is a primarily an optics company. They specialise in just one thing.

However, as things stand, Canon has manufactured the extremely popular and successful 5D Mark II. A documentary was shot using that thing and it has been nominated for an Academy Award. So I guess if it's good enough for that, well...

However, the real reason I am considering a Canon is because most people I know shoot using Canon. So I may be able to play the entitled Malay man and borrow some shit.

Another consideration is audio. I think I'll allocate some budget for that as well.

I don't expect to shoot any significant bullshit with this shit. I think I'll just spend some weekend afternoons editing video.

Which reminds me. I do need more storage space in my PC. And a new monitor. And a new extension cable.

And a stove.

Pornography as Mankind's Greatest Literature

I'm a fan of pink films of the Roman-Nikkatsu era. Err... that's porn flicks with storylines, themes and sometimes BDSM stemming from '70s and '80s Japan.

Look it up on Wikipedia.

The camera-work is often shoddy, but sometimes is adequate and rarely - just plain fucking awesome. In A Cow Moos in the Dawn or some shit, the decadent sex of a farmer's daughter is juxtaposed with the 'innocent' semi-incest between daughter-in-law and father-in-law using just lighting. Classic natural light vs harsh lighting.

The philosophical jaunt that is The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai focuses less on the sex scenes, but more on dialogue, while the director makes a point about learning and education.

In Beautiful Teacher in Torture, the deconstruction of the ego happens to a kendo queen. While often times mysoginistic and disturbing, the process helps in understanding the many layers of the human ego, as posed by both Jung and Freud. Though to be honest, more Freud. You can even watch it as a reverse Freudian construct.

I also watch Hong Kong's Category III movies - softcore porn - because the Hongkies understand the debased immoral lusts of people more acutely than the unimaginative Americans.

One movie, Robotrix or some shit, is really about the dehumanising of sex and debauchery, to a point where the ultimate sexual experience is found between the legs of a man-made construct rather than the real thing. Which is, in a self-referrential meta, a commentary about porn.

Of course, all of this could have been true, if you also watch these porn movies completely drunk.

Wankathon Hypersigil

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai - Best Japanese Porn

The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai is one of those things I knew porn would deliver - an existential take on life, the world, the universe, philosophy, and porn.

Read all about it here. Sachiko is a movie that started out as porn, and good quality porn, too - the kind that has a storyline.

Sachiko was shot in the head and develops super-intelligence, an uncanny understanding of the universe, and gets horny for no reason at many points in the movie. There's also a subplot about a nuclear holocaust set by George W Bush's finger.

Sachiko fucks a lot as she expounds on the works of Chomsky, blablabla, as well as the legend of the Chinese god Chaos.

Chaos was a being without a face, meaning he lacked '7 holes' - the eyes, ears, nostrils and a mouth. A Chinese wizard, Dong-something-something, took pity and gave Chaos the '7 holes' and as soon as Chaos regained all the four senses of sight, hearing, taste and smell, he killed himself.

This is an analogy to Sachiko's condition as well. She was give an extra hole - the headshot on her forehead, which also stands for the 'third eye' - and due to her increased clarity and understanding of the universe, decides to end it all in a nuclear disaster. Oops. Spoiler!

She also uses her other holes, other than the traditional 7 on the face, throughout the movie, representing things that can be experienced not from the four senses, perhaps representing humanity or animalism (anima, animus, id, blablabla) which is not how Socrates believes that man experiences the world, because Socrates was ugly and nobody wanted to fuck him.

However, it must also be noted that Sachiko only acquires only one extra hole while Chaos has 7. This suggests that Sachiko's understanding of the universe is incomplete, imperfect and should not have allowed her to come to the same conclusion as Chaos did.

Yes, my friends, all these from a porn flick. A pink film made in 2003.

The Adventures of Boron: Boron Supremacy

It was a hot and humid day. By the time I got out for lunch, my mood and energy went out the window.

I just wanted to go home and sleep. And whine like a fucking Pakatan Rakyat motherfucker.

I dazed in and out of meetings. There were three. Or five.

So I got home and masturbated. Then it started to rain. Wait, no. It started to rain before I walked home. So, I was masturbating while it was raining? What?

Then I was attacked by these lice-men and I had to change into my 'Fire-Proof Suit'. I beat them all with a voice-activated triangle laser shooting from my hands. That's when Don Horror sucked me into some sort of null-space hell or some shit.

To steady myself, I summoned my armoured motorcycle with a sidecar that had its controls in the fucking sidecar.

I was winning with my laser saber, but then the monsters grew gigantic, so I called my spaceship that turned into a robot dragon that fires lasers.

I win, of course.

Then I went to sleep, woke up and ate oatmeal.

Man, the day sucked.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Superhuman Samurai Cyber-Squad


Both BN and PR are in peril of losing the next election to PUNDAK - Parti Undi Rosak. I was once Psychopomp and Carnifex to PUNDAK's Indian chapter Punda Maune before turning into a free agent. Now, I offer my services to the highest bidder.

My price has not changed since 2007 - US$400 million. For US$400 million, I will fight and win the cyberwar for anyone using my porn combo.


Saturday, February 11, 2012

NFC Vs KFC: Chicken or Beef?

Unless you were a Malaysian living in a coconut shell the past few weeks, you'd have heard of either the continuing saga of the NFC - the National Feedlot Corporation - and the hot and spicy stories regarding a KFC - Kentucky Fight Club - employee assaulting a customer.

Of course, if you're NOT Malaysian, hot and wearing a coconut bra, then, well, carry on.

First of all, I must say Datuk Seri Shahrizat Jalil who took some vacation time to sue two politicians, may have stepped on a pile of exploding shit.

I think she should have stayed low, allowed the responsible party - members of her family - to face the music, and played the part of the grieving woman who had to show strength by doing so.

No one is above the law, she should have said, and even if it's family, she would have to allow for due process to be carried out. Then cry for good measure. Make herself out to be a victim. Malaysians love victim stories. They would rather believe that than anything else, be it true or false.

This is reminiscent of Dr M's stand when they charged Anwar with Sodomy Episode 1: A New Hole. Dr M was distraught that his protege was hauled to court, but he can't do anything. He couldn't bend the law for his deputy - that would be unethical and a clear misuse of power!

So, with sadness in his heart, Dr M allowed Anwar to go down. Am resisting a sexual joke at this moment.

Anyway, last week, bought - out of sympathy - some NFC beef. Gemas Gold. My only complaint is that it is just as expensive as Aussie beef. I mean, it IS Australian beef, but since you already got RM250 million which you used to buy condos and not, oh, I don't know - buy cows or something - the least you could do is provide a competition for Aussie beef.

As a manly beef-eater, I would laud (as in, laudanum) any move by the NFC to sell cheaper meat. It is also beneficial to them as it would demonstrate to the public that the NFC benefits them - providing high quality Aussie beef at half the price! Or something.

Same thing with the KFC scandal. I believe KFC is doing a good job so far. Acknowledge the fact that no, it is unacceptable for an employee of their restaurant to hit other people. I think they did that today or whatever.

And yes, I do wonder what provoked the kitchen dude to attack the customer. I mean, I have been pretty rude to some waiters because they chased me away from their restaurants or told me I can order, but there's no guarantee that I would get any food.

I have replied in the offensive a few times, but I have never managed to get them to punch me in the face. I wonder what is the secret to getting punched in the face by the kitchen guy - not the waiter - the kitchen guy.

I'm not saying anyone should be punched in any establishment, especially a paying customer, or that any of this is acceptable. I'm just wondering what the fuck?

Some people immediately point to race. Hey! Assholes! It's not about race. It's about chicken. Please do not politicise poultry.

I believe that KFC should donate RM1 million to a charity of the assaulted guy's choice, in his name. And give the poor man a barrel or two. Giving him money will mean that starting tomorrow, I will insult McDonald's staff over and over again to try and get punched in the face. Two punches and I'm retiring!

And then, KFC should spend RM1 million in a courtesy and good behaviour campaign for their staff, culminating in a PR and advertising campaign to illustrate how their workers are courteous and good-mannered. Make that the cornerstone of Malaysian KFC identity, and fucking move on.

As the world's greatest and most powerful mind, I call on everyone else who are not as well-endowed as me to calm the fuck down. And suck my bulbous dick.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Things to Buy

Today, I finally got around to editing a video. I haven't edited a video in years and the only times I did prior to this were simply to give direction to the real editors who know what to do with the thing.

Just a minor tweaking tomorrow, I suppose. It is for actual work, and is to be uploaded on YouTube. I can only say that it is a very safe and simple topic, but has got me thinking into upgrading my computer yet again and purchasing a camera as well as editing software.

Of course, I do have the stove I wanted prior to this. A gas stove with which to cook stuff. The current electric thing I am using is limited in many ways, and after using my mother's kitchen, I am very much aware of the limitations.

For example, having a flat cooking surface with the induction-hob pans (I find Tefal to be the best) means foodstuff caking the damned thing. When I cooked with a wok, I experienced none of these problems.

To purchase proper tools, I would need around RM20,000. To prepare for my retirement, I would need around RM2 million. Hmmm...

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Agent Orange: Page 1

It doesn't really matter, but I believe instead of focusing on Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor's shopping list as well as Datuk Seri Anwar's sexual escapades, we should grill politicians on their issues.

As in, their stand on our issues. Like economy, education (BM/English/wha?), sexual freedom, and whether any one of us gets to grab on to some free cash?

I posed this question to Opposition politicians and all of them remained silent - except one. All of the rest have no answer, because I believe the only thing they want to do is rob the country in five years what they have been accusing BN politicians have robbed in 53 years.

This is of course, wild, baseless presumption, but since Nurul Izzah, Anwar (who blocked me on Twitter cause he's an asshole who accused me of being a BN cybertrooper as I was about to grill him about phantom voters in his constituency in Permatang Pauh), Tony Pua, Tian Chua and whoever did not respond, this is the only assumption I can make. That while they sometimes perhaps insinuate that BN politicos are thieves, these people are robbers-in-waiting.

What, so we should vote you guys in because Rosmah went shopping? Were the dresses that bad? I mean, the fat lady has crazy hair and a mannequin face, but who gives a fuck if she wants to surprise Najib with a multi-coloured negligee?

I mean, she went shopping. BIG. FUCKING. DEAL. Did she stealthily Mission Impossible the hell out of Bank Negara and stole a few billion? Really? What kind of rope could support her weight? You got proof that NFC supplied her with rope?

The woman wanted to shop. Let her shop. Not like she's sodomising boys left right and center and 'mengiring'.

This is what I hate about BN politics, which has now become Pakatan Rakyat politics. Character assassination. You got no issues, so you go after the character of a person, even when, as far as I can see, while Rosmah does not seem to be a pleasant fat woman who can sing, is just a rather plain fat lady who was once hot. In the '50s or some shit.

PR fucks take the moral high ground, but then descend into the same dirty politics they are fighting against. Oh, wait, that was not their fight. Their fight was about jealousy. As the BN fuckers were getting fat contracts, they felt left out.

Even Zaid Ibrahim - President of Nothing - thought the millions he got was not enough.

Greed. Pettiness. And a penchant for lying. And not too good at it, either. Did Rosmah do it, Raja Petra? Did you see her kill a model? If someone ELSE saw it, then let the fucker do an SD.

And check your numbers, Guan Eng. You always get caught, stupid dumbass motherfucker.

You know why I'm hard on the Opposition? Cause I want to be an Opposition force against any kind of governance, but you fuckers make it look really, really bad.

Anyway, my point is, fuck the buttfucking, fuck the shopping lists and the ring that doesn't really exist - not US$24 million anyway - and can we please focus on issues?

Yeah, I read the Orange Book PR did. It is, in my opinion, juvenile, trying to be manipulative, naive, stupid, ludicrous and ultimately dumb. Did I say stupid?

I'll get to it when I can give enough of a fuck. Right now, I'm just going to masturbate.

Wank of the Buddha

You know, the more you focus on idiots, the more idiots will focus on you. And there's no escaping people. Not really.

I have been to quite a few places in my short life and while the names or faces are different, it's always the same old shit. Same old people doing the same great or stupid things. The same old mistakes. That's just the way it is.

If people, environment and everything else are the same, constants, then what is different? The only variable is yourself. That and money.

But money is money. It is neither good nor bad. You, meanwhile, can determine a great many things. Like, do you give a fuck? How many fucks do you give?

I tried to save the world, once or twice. Superhero complex. Every time I do that, always blows up in my face. The world doesn't want to be saved. How dare me, huh? The world wants to end, and I am not in spandex.

Then I got to thinking. If I'm not a superhero, why not be a super-villain? I can certainly destroy better than create. My Chinese family worship the God of War. The Temple of Siva - God of Destruction - is near my house.

Always drives me crazy, how fragile things are. You reach out, you pluck or twist, and things fall apart. The center cannot hold. Anarchy is set loose upon the world.

And then I thought, all this is totally fucking gay.

Idiots, by law of the universe, will merely implode and self-destruct. You just have to get out of the way. Why the fuck should I give a flying fuck?

I should really focus on my real goal - retirement. I mean, if we observe the earth and human life as a species from a geological standpoint, we merely exist - all of our two, three million year existence - for a few seconds, if the earth is a 90-minute Hollywood movie.

Humans are so small, we are like a virus in the universe. Everything the idiots - the unenlightened, said Buddha, the ones who live in Maya, said a Hindu God - take seriously are in the end totally worthless. Absolutely no value whatsoever.

And junkies and drunkards try to run away from this reality by getting drunk or high. Nothing is worth anything until we put an abstract value to it. With our fucked-up heads. It is really an insanity.


Fuck all of you idiots. I'm going to stop wanking and start masturbating.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


I am a vagabond.