Thursday, January 29, 2015

The Fucking Flu and Other Stories.

Finally. I think I'm recovering nicely from the flu that got me last week.

I was ready to go to the hospital because I was sneezing up blood. That's bad considering I'm already on three types of blood thinners - two types of anti-platelets (Plavix and aspirin) and one anti-coagulant (warfarin).

If I had contracted dengue fever, a condition that reduces platelet count, I would have been at risk for brain hemorrhaging or whatever.

The sneezing of blood sounds more dramatic than it really was - basically I was sneezing up phlegm that had some traces of blood in it. Quite a bit, but not dripping with blood. And tonight, the bleeding stopped.

Furthermore, I exhibited none of the symptoms of brain hemorrhaging - no dizzy spells, no headaches, etc.

The flu almost incapacitated me anyway. I treat it like I treat any other flu viruses - I ignored it and I avoided people. When you're infected, you should quarantine yourself.

I didn't stop going for assignments, though I did let up on writing. This week proved to be filled with a variety of events, interviews and other things.

This is the kind of thing you watch out for when you're on some types of dangerous medication. Warfarin was, at one point, rat poison. The six types of meds I'm on for my heart condition meant I have to be extra vigilant and educate myself constantly. I fucking read fucking medical journals.

For example, recently I started eating blue cheese because a study in Norway suggested that blue cheese such as Roquefort, danish blue and soft cheeses such as Camembert have these anti-inflammatory things that are good for the heart.

I just have to ensure the saturated fat doesn't kill me, so everything in moderation, to achieve the desired balance.

Some friends have asked about losing weight and my take on it is simple:

1. Portioning

Regardless of what you eat, you have to control the portions. This requires a lot of self-control. If you don't have it, you're doomed to being fat and sick.

2. Choice

You need to choose the right food. I go for high fibre most of the time. I don't eat fast food or anything too salty, too oily, too sweet or too stupid.

3. Timing

I don't eat past 10pm, unless I did not have dinner on that day, which is rare. I sleep at 12 or so.

And then there's exercise. I couldn't exercise this week because of my flu. Fucking flu.

Anyway, the second comic book by Maple Comics is out and it looks better than I expected.

Two dear friends are getting married this weekend and I have to find their wedding gift tomorrow.

But first, some rest. I need to recuperate from this goddamn flu.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Flu Fighter: Two Crazy Days

So I went for my cardiac stress test yesterday. Previously, I reached level 5 with a METS score of 10.7 which means I can do heavy farming but not deep sea diving. To go for deep sea diving and run really fast, I need to beat level 6.

I went in, and immediately told the doctor and the nurse, "I want to beat level 6 today."

They were like, "Eh?" Cause that's not how it works. But fuck it.

So I went on the thing and they strapped these things to my chest and I beat level 6. Fuck you, level 6.

My METS score is now 13.5. I'm way above average for heart patients and still above average for normal hoo-mans.

I was extremely satisfied with the results and immediately gave myself a blowjob.

It was a good day.

Today, I began to feel sick. My core temperature was rising from morning and I felt a certain dryness in my throat.

The discomfort made me quite pissed off almost the whole day and by night time, I wanted to punch people in the face.

Am not going to the office tomorrow, but will do work at home. I feel sick right now and my nose is runny.

Within these two days, I also begin to get a clearer picture of certain things and certain whatever. And guess what? My instincts are always correct.

I'm so fucking great. Even though I can feel the temperature of my eyeballs, I can safely say I did the right thing and made the right decisions.

Now, if only that physiotherapist would go out with me, when I've recovered from my flu/fever.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Wankathon Hypersigil

Tomorrow I go for a stress test. It's where they hook you up to an EKG thing and make you walk, jog or run on a treadmill.

Come hell or high water, I won't stop until I reach the final level - level 6. Last time I did it, I reached level 5. I thought that was the final level, but nooooo. There's another level. Hope my heart and my leg muscles hold out.

In the gym, I could do 60 minutes cardio on the eliptical, reaching 9km yesterday. Then I usually follow it up with an hour of weight training - usually 100 crunches, bicep curls, tricep whatever and some chest thingies.

My man boobs are all but gone. My stomach does not bulge outward anymore. Well, not that much.

I am also managing my stress better than before the heart attack. I let go of idiots and the stupid things they do, and I put my faith in people who are smart. I don't think I need to correct or show smart people what's what, because if they can't see what I see on top of what they already see, then they are not very smart to begin with. And I don't waste time with idiots.

I don't feel maligned or victimised by life or by other people because I don't allow it to happen. Once you take full responsibility for yourself, there are no excuses and you will do more.

I'm juggling a full time job and two separate businesses. All are coming along well. I wish the physiotherapist would go out on a date with me, but if she doesn't, I'm not gonna cut myself or feel unwanted or sad or whatever.

I feel my age, which is good. I'm 35 years old this year, and I'm too old for the regular retarded bullshit. The devil is in the details, but you can't go wrong looking at a bigger picture.

People get so lost in minutiae sometimes that we forget what's really important - is anything I'm doing making me happy? Am I happy?

The only way to be happy is to stop wanting. To do away with desire, and not in a 'fight desire' mode. Desire would only be managed by acknowledging it and to acknowledge yourself.

Same with ego, as ego is often times defined by our desires. The desire to be accepted, to have a place, to be recognised, to be told that they are loved, that they are okay people.

I find all this pathetic, but I also understand that it is a basic stupid human need.

Choose your battles wisely. Not everything is a do or die situation. I have been in situations where it is literally do or fucking die. As in, funeral die, morgue die. As in you fucking stop breathing or your heart stops beating.

It forces perspective.

All these people, all these games, the politics, the posturing, the lies - they are all worthless. I do what I want to do. I spend my limited time with people I want to spend time with. And fuck all to everything else.

End of the day, I'm still the best there was, the best there is and the best there ever will be.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Boron (World's Most Boring Man) Ultimatum

This was a weird week.

I started the gym sessions in earnest last week and finally hit my stride this week. Went three times in five days and managed to complete heaps of cardio and reps for my arms, chest and back. Legs I'm putting off till later cause I have some pain in my heels.

Couldn't work at all last Christmas-New Year cause everyone was on leave, so I was catching up on stuff this week. Tons of things to do, which makes me depressed, which is handled after I figure out a plan of action.

I also found several business opportunities and will be bringing them to several people - funders, executors, talents, grunts. I can't do everything myself anymore. Have to cooperate and delegate.

A hot chick approved my request on FB and I'm just the bees' knees.

Anyway, time to sleep! Cheers!

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Five Things You Need to Know About Losing Weight

Recently, I lost almost 20kg in less than four months. That's 44 pounds. I'm 2/3 of my goal to lose 30kg. This is how I did it.

And I did it in the format of a listicle or list-article for your bullshit Gen Y millenial bullshit consumption.

5. Fuck you.

4. Fuck you.

3. Fuck you

2. Fuck you and your preference for list articles. List articles are the worst things to journalism. Aside from... journalists being all holier-than-thou and crapping on the very industry that's feeding them by being asshole freeloaders. But fuck you.

1. Okay. I did not set out to lose weight. Not at all. I was happy the way I was, but then I had a fucking heart attack.

I mean, I knew how to lose weight. Just over two years ago, I lost 17kg in three months by switching to a high fibre diet and exercising almost every day. The first week alone, I lost 6kg. One week, 6kg - so I knew it's easy to lose weight.

As with everything else, as soon as I figured something out, I would lose interest. There are so many other things to explore and discover.

The thing I decided to do was change my lifestyle after the stupid heart attack. The prognosis put me at six months to six years life expectancy.

The data comes from a study done in the US on 1,000 heart patients with an ejection fraction (EF or EVF) below 40%. Normal human is at 60-70%. Cristiano Ronaldo is maybe 80%. Below 40% and you have heart failure. Mine's 41% - barely scraping by.

Now, the thing is, the data is not entirely reliable (thank God I deal with these types of number sets as part of my mind-control business to know the flaws and bullshit of statistics) as:

1. From the 1,000 patients, they could not assign control groups or whatever groups.

You can't set aside 300 people and tell them, "Okay, you guys don't exercise and eat whatever you've been eating that got you to having a heart attack in the first place. And you, the next 300, exercise like crazy and only drink the dews of the leaves of petunias for five years."

These are real people, not lab animals.

2. There is no lifestyle change study

The study did not observe any impact made by lifestyle change. It's just, "oh these 1,000 people had a heart attack, with below 40% EVF and now they're all dead after six years."

3. Everything is a bell-shaped curve

I hate the notion of being special. However, in this case, if I want to survive, I needed to be in the special percentage tier - those who made it, the fuckers who had heart attacks and fucking killed it. It being heart condition, not themselves.

So, I needed to be special. I needed to excel. I fucking hate those motherfuckers who want to be special. But I needed to do this, so excuse my dust.

So I went back to my plan. My BMI was bad, cholesterol was wayyy up and my sodium intake was crazy, for a non-American.

The first three months after being discharged, I went home and did three things - I quit smoking, I began eating healthy and I exercised every fucking day.

Quitting smoking was easy. I just stopped. That's it. All you fuckers who SAY you want to quit but have not quit are fucking delusional pansies. You don't want to quit - that's why you have not quit smoking.

Eating healthy requires a ton of research. I watched over 20 hours of documentaries, mostly from the BBC. Learned about nutrition mostly from Youtube and wikipedia and other websites. I read tons of stuff.

As I gathered the information I need, I asked my sister to set recipes for me. I ate 200gm of lean protein a day, around 300gm of carbs (high fibre) a day, two tablespoons of oil a day, half a teaspoon of salt every fucking day. Drank 3-5 litres of water, daily.

I have a whole list of stuff I don't eat anymore. Coconut oil, palm oil, anything with saturated fat - butter, margarine, ALL fast food, ALL traditional ethnic cuisine from everywhere, ALL kuih, 95% of stuff they serve you at any Mamak restaurant anywhere, 95% of shit they serve you in ANY restaurant.

For example, two nights ago, for a very special occasion, I ate fried rice for the first time in four months.

Losing weight through dieting is very simple. You need to take in less calories than you use. A 100kg man - not woman, man - would use 2200-2500kcal a day. So if you're at 100kg, take 1500-1700kcal a day. If you're at 80kg, find out how many calories you need and take less. Count everything. It's a math question.

Get rid of all the oil. Everything has oil in it, so you don't need to eat any fried food. ANY fried food. Everything must be boiled, steamed, curried, baked, grilled or whatever. If you HAVE to, after four months, sautee that shit. Today I pan-fried some chicken breast and two tablespoons of oil is plenty!

Be disciplined. You're not going to get away with cheating on yourself. That sugary treat with pounds of butter in it? It will get stuck in your heart and you will fucking die. Or it will get stuck in your brain and you'd be a retard.

Exercise was tricky. My heart is partially dead, so I can't exert myself. I started small, walking 2-3km a day, until I can walk for 12km a day. That's 3km one way from my apartment through the cemetery to a part, 6km for one round trip. Do it twice a day and I get 12km.

Went for a stress test at the hospital and was cleared to swim. I swim 20 laps every time, 500-600m, twice to three times a week.

Then I got a job and my exercise time was cut short so I joined a gym near my workplace. I do 60-90 minutes cardio every time, with 45 minutes of weight training and crunches.

Now, my regime is I would go and exercise four times a week - either gym, swimming or walking 12km a day.

All those fuckers who try to dissuade you from doing all this, they're all fuckers. If I had listened to any of the jealous, sabotaging fucktards who tried to stop me from exercising in my '20s, I'd have died when I had my heart attack on Aug 29. I'm still alive simply because my heart was strong enough to weather that first attack, even though 1/3 of it is now dead.

Anyway, the point was not to lose weight. The point was to get healthy. But I lost 19kg so far, and by next week, it should be 20kg. I weigh myself every morning to keep things consistent.

My target is to lose 30kg.

Problems: I had to shop for new clothes even at this midway juncture and by the time I hit 30kg weight loss, I'd have to buy an entirely new wardrobe again.

My motivation is simple - I stop doing this, and I die. Or worse. The last thing I want is a stroke or diabetes.

At the moment, I'm probably at my healthiest since I graduated. Actually, the last time I felt this healthy was when I was 11 years old. And I'm NOT healthy. I have a serious illness that could kill me at any moment. All this, all I'm doing? Might not matter, but I've decided to do it and I'm sticking to it.

I'm just doing all I can to lower my risks. And somehow, I'm way sexier doing it than I ever was - who would have thought that was possible?

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Beeelilah, Komik Aku

Aku dah ada kompeni komik - Maple Comics.

Kitorang dah terbitkan Kuala Terengganu in 7 Days. RM25 satu.

Website betul belum siap lagi(estimated Q1 2015 siap), tapi ni ada blog jual komik tu:


Nanti bila dah ada website proper, aku akan iklankan lagi sekali.

Berikut beberapa sample pages Kuala Terengganu in 7 Days:

Good Riddance 2014!

Well, here we are now. 2015. Good riddance to 2014. Fuck off 2014. What a lousy year.

Highlights of 2014 for me were:

1. Had a heart attack on Aug 29.

Almost died, unfortunately didn't. One third of my heart is dead. Life expectancy is usually six months to six years. So, not much time left.

My father had a similar thing, and a similar prognosis. He's still alive after 34-35 years, so I don't know, man.

2. Lost 18kg

Cause of the heart attack, I quit smoking, went on a healthy diet and started exercising almost religiously.

Was possible to do it every day when I was just running my own business, but I accepted a job at The Malaysian Reserve on Dec 1 so I now have less time to go for walks. Solution? I joined a gym.

My workout schedule is 4-6 times a week, either cardio and weight training at the gym, 20 laps at the swimming pool or 6km-12km walks every day.

I now look really handsome and svelte. So much so, most of my old clothes don't fit very well. So I need to go and order another pair of suits once my weight loss reaches a plateau, probably in another 10kg of weight loss.

When I started the gym, my weight went up a bit, and now is going down again. Something to do with building muscle mass.

3. Started a comics company, and then published a comic book

We registered Maple Comics two years ago, but never really pushed it because there was no product.

Now we have one (Kuala Terengganu in 7 Days) that we published (Dec 10) and there are five to seven in development.

This week, we engaged with a professional web developer to do a proper website. The operations will be smooth after that and we could focus on making great comics.

Reception has been good to unbelievable. We sold 25% of the comics in the first week alone and by now it should be 30% hopefully.

Anyway, considering it was a small print run, the numbers are respectable. We hope that when it hits the major bookstores next week, we can score enough sales within the first few weeks to warrant reprints.

If I make enough money from the comic publishing business, I aim to do it full time, somewhere in the future.

4. Quit movies

I retired from writing movies. That's all I wrote. Bye!

The last movie screened was Ribbit.

A few individuals, production companies, and giant media entities tried to get me to write more movies, but I said no to all of them.

I don't see a future for scriptwriters in Malaysian films. The big companies take all the rights and have the gall to say they forked out money, so they own everything. As if the contribution of creative workers alone does not carry any value.

Everything sucks from the administrative bodies, the laws, the filmmakers themselves and the film audience. These three groups - administration, filmmakers, audience - are ontributing to a systemic failure. When you get a blue screen, you reboot.

I hope to watch the Malaysian movie industry burn to the ground, not because of hate or spite, but because it is in a dire need of a reboot. You can't improve the damn thing without starting over.

In the meantime, there is collateral damage. Those who make money to feed their families primarily from an industry that does not support much less reward them will suffer regardless whether the industry chugs along or burns in a fireball.

Oh well. Not my problem.

5. Politics

Up to my heart attack, I was consulting on crisis communications. This is what I do for giant corporations. After the cardiac event, I have decided to only do crisis communications for friends' projects.

Friends as in former bosses and people I respect. I'm easing off it because the giant entities and politicians all have leeches around them who sell them things that don't work - practically bullshit - and those people use lots of not-their-money to pay for it.

I'm the last honest man in Malaysia. Never took a bribe and never will. Well, I would, but it has to be over US$400 million.

A friend who does take money recently questioned my integrity, saying, "If you were offered a project for 5 million and all they want (plus cost) is a RM4.5 million kickback, would you do it?"

"My integrity for half a million? Fuck you."

Seriously, if I want to freeload or embezzle money, it has to be US$400 million minimum. I'm not cheap like these fuckers.

I used to watch these communications' people pushing the narrative on social media and I used to get pissed off cause they're doing it all wrong. Nowadays, I just laugh at them.

In fact, this is my overarching theme - I no longer want to change the world. I just want to laugh at it.