The only way I will contest in the UMNO party elections is if they make a new division - Jejaka UMNO.
Compared to Pemuda UMNO, of which members are hardly 'muda', Jejaka UMNO will comprise of the best-looking person on the planet - ME.
There can be only one.
And I will run for President, Deputy President, Three Vice Presidential seats, Jejaka Chief and everything else.
Members (me) will then cast their (my) vote and I shall be the President, Deputy, Triple-Crown Vice President, Jejaka UMNO Chief, UMNO Tag-Team Champions and everything else.
And then, I shall consolidate all positions and declare myself as Carnifex and Psychopomp.
With more than two-thirds mahority (100%), I can change the party's constitution on a whim.
And instead of a Datukship, I will hold out for a full lordship.
Lord Amir Hafizi.
Now all you fuckers have to address me as your liege. Hahahaha.
"Here are my tits, my liege."
"Bending over, my liege."
"Am spreading my buttcheeks for you, my liege."
"I am sorry for not sucking your dick as soon as you wake up, my liege."