Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Degeneration M: MahaMania Rules Forever!

So yeah, I am a Mahathirist. I am proud to call myself that. I do not care if it exists or not.

You have a problem with that? Suck my dick.

I was born in 1980. I grew up under the rule of Dr M. He is the ONLY politician whom I have tons of respect for.

People said he couldn't do shit. He didn't give a fuck, and did them anyway. And most of the time, it worked.

He wasn't some populist bullshit who would pander to the audience. He won't go with the popular. He would go with what is right.

In 1985, I asked my father, "So are we getting a new car, nigga?"

My father said, "Nah. The pomen (mechanic. Bastardisation of 'foreman') told me the engines would heat up easily."

20 years later, those same mechanics were driving Protons.

Sure, I think Proton is a silly name. A positive charged ion. What the fuck? Well, so is Volkswagen - the people's car. But VWs are cool and sexy.

And Proton, it worked. For a time.

Yeah, yeah. Say all you want.

"Ooh. It only succeeded because of the NAP."

"It's just Dr M helping out his friends."

Well, it WORKED motherfucker! It worked. Whatever he was aiming for, it worked.

And most of his detractors bought the car anyway. Some are even driving in it right now.

In yo face!

I read the newspapers everyday, starting when I was seven. Everyday there would be stuff that Dr M announced. And all of them made sense.

I don't read him backing out of an entirely untrue statement a few weeks later, like SOME people.

He never did sell any of Malaysia's important companies to Singapore.

The biggest sign, though, was that there were not many grouses under him. People will always whine, regardless of how good they get it. Or don't get.

But Dr M, he made sure the racist motherfuckers were kept in check. Kept in line.

You a racist? Bam! You die, motherfucker.

And you can't argue with him, cause he knows verbal tai-chi. ANwar is all fire and brimstone.

"Saya akan LAWAN BALIK!!!"

Fuck you.

Dr M is like a tsunami.

"I didn't fire my deputy. The courts charged him. What, you want me to make an exception just cause he's my deputy?"

Ooh! Face! This is MY house! Don't you be bringin' that weak ass shit here.

And yeah, some people try to say that Dr M is NOT Malay. That he is at the very least mixed.

Well, to tell you the truth, I have never met a pure Malay.

Malays are always mixed. That's why we are so good-looking.

Take me, for instance. I am half-Chinese and half-Malay. On my mother's Malay side, there is Bugis and Pattani blood. My great grandfather was an Islamic teacher from Thailand.

Whenever I ask people, they would always say, "I'm a Javanese-Malay." "I'm a Bugis-Malay." "I'm a fill-in-the-blank Malay."

Malays are a group of people who decided hundreds of years ago to become a race because they were living in the same place.

Routes instead of roots, yo!

And the ever polite and hospitable Malays will accept whatever you identify with, under one banner. That's why I believe that in a very short time, we have accepted everyone as Malaysians. Because you and me - we are the same, under the Constitution. As long each and every one of us consider ourselves Malaysian.

And the faster other ethnicities embrace the Malaysianness without all the hangups, without all the whining, the faster the assimilation would be. A real Malaysian Malaysia, without the racist undertones.

So Dr M, he's Malay. A bloody smart one, at that.

He's always calm when he makes his statements. I never saw him fumble. I saw him cry on national TV a few times. But he never wavered.

Believe it or not, he did not force his beliefs down people's throats. He did not like money politics - or should we just call it corruption instead? He asked them to stop. He cried once or twice, asking them to stop. They refused to listen.

And look now where we at?

And still, he helped people. Even though in the end, they would backstab him. They would spit on his face and his legacy. He didn't go ballistic, though I can only imagine what that would have been like.

Despite all the abuse hurled his way, his retaliation was minimal. Sure, there were confiscated computers and Ops Lalang. But another in his stead would have done worse.

For example: Me. I am not in favour of the ISA. If I was the PM, I would abolish the ISA and start killing whoever annoyed me.

If I ever come into power, and if you're a hypocrite racist, watch out. I will kill you and your family. And I will make it look like an accident. What the hell. I'll make it look like an accident, and then hang your skulls on my front gates. Man, I need me a large gate. A loooong one. A RM20 million one. Just so I could put the heads of people who annoy me on them.

Dr M did not do that. I was surprised. Shocked. I thought they said he was MahaZalim. That's not MahaZalim.

And Dr M, he listened to Eminem.

I was reading the newspaper from back to front one day, in my youth, and then I saw a news item about Dr M and Eminem.

I immediately called my friend Cheepork.

Me: Hey! Dr M listens to Eminem!

Cheepork: What?

Me: Dr M. He listens to Eminem.

C: What did he say?

Me: Well, he hates it. Thinks it's a bad influence. But he listened to the songs.

C: Cool beans!

No one has ever said anything bad about Dr M on a public platform without getting egg on their faces.

He always has this backhanded, calm way of saying something without saying it.

"Oh, it would be a shame if some nasty people were to say that blablabla." And he's the one who just said the blablabla.

"It would be a shame if it were made known that this guy blablabla." And he's the one who said it!

Dr M is STILL the only leader I look up to.

MahaMania STILL Rules!