Woo! I woke up at 1.30am. It's raining. It's cold. But my head is clear again.
Damn, man. That was some good painkiller shit.
Anyway, today, I laid the seeds of a foundation. Planted it and am now going to step back.
Cause I have learned that if you want someting, and focus on that wanting, that feeling of desire, you will never, ever get it.
In that crazy book, The Secret, they say that if you focus on the wanting, then you are basically telling the universe that you want more of the wanting. More desire.
I am not a creature of Desire. I am Dream's. And perhaps forevermore, I will always be cursed to hate the tendrils of Desire and her/his/its realm. I guess the Sandman comics is my Bible more than anything else.
If you seek happiness, you will never, ever get it.
Because happiness is a state of not wanting. Zero desire. Wanting happiness, that's the surest way of not being happy.
SOme people, they try to play their little games with me.
I'm too old for this shit, motherfucker. Been there. Done that. I saw what it did to you. I ain't drinking that poison.
I may still be 28, but I'm fucking ancient. Not ancient with wisdom. Maybe just ancient with evil.
Fuck that, man.
Anyway, yeah, today, I laid the seeds, laid the foundation, of something that may impact psychohistory.
I may or may not be there to take care of it, or even reap its benefits. I still do not know what tomorrow brings. But it will be there, even after I've gone.
Something that would impact the collective subconcious. And subsequently, everything else. Cause I believe that the world did not become this way out of the natural evolution of socio-political and evolutionary bullshit. It is no accident.
I believe that the world we live in is a convergence of wills, a confluence of ideas.
Some people had a vision of what they want it to be, and shared that vision with a lot more people, affecting the collective subconcious. When enough people believe in such a world, with passion and commitment, then the world will come to be.
Kalimullah knew this. Adolf Hitler knew this. SHih Huang Ti knew this, when he burned all those books. Hell, all the spin-masters knew this. Ever wonder why public relations is there as an entire fucking industry? Ever wonder why the media and propaganda is so important?
They are trying to tap into the power of belief. The power of faith. Visions and prophecies.
But more often than not, they failed.
Kalimullah failed to convince people that Pak Lah is a fearless leader. SHih Huang Ti failed to even successfully burn ALL the books, much less convince people that his is the first empire. And Adolf got a pineapple rammed up his ass.
Their failure, I believe, stems from their narrow approach of meeting general conciousness head on. To try and TELL people how to think. They tried to appeal to the concious, to the frontal lobe. Where there is much resistance.
The best way to do it, for any reason, in any medium, is through the collective subconcious.
That's why fiction is a better way to share and transmit ideas. Because its focus is a more primordial area of the brain. A more primitive one.
And fiction, is my world. It's my yard. My playground. I was into fiction the moment I started reading. And for some years before that.
And now, I shall be opening the gates for other people to play in it as well.
I will be long gone when any impact, any effect can be felt. It would be my imaginary statue. My imaginary tombstone. My virtual memorial.
But, strange as it sounds, I have faith. Not desire. Not wanting. Just faith.