Saturday, November 22, 2008

Man of Tomorrow: Master Bordello

As the future MB of Pahang, I have some plans that would change the lives of everyone.

First of all, conversion to alternative fuels.

The best way to make energy is to use lighter-than-air turbines, turning a dynamo 1,000 feet above sea-levels(where wind speeds are at a constant). A tether will conduct the electricity down to be stored in huge batteries.

Where it can be used to make energy carriers - hydrogen from water, or even compressed air. Or simply electricity in cartridges that can be loaded like bullets. Like a torchlight.

This will power the whole of Pahang. Her factories. Her cars. Her homes.

Furthermore, solar-panels can also be placed on the lighter-than-air helium-filled turbines. And Internet routers as well. Which will turn massive areas in Pahang as wifi-zones.

As Pahang has a large number of Orang Asli settlements, the Government can set-up free Skype video phones, even in jungles.

Meanwhile, various village economic projects can be managed by the Government. Like cage-fish-farming, for example. As Pahang has a lot of rivers and a lot of the settlements are at river banks and swamps.

The problem with existing programmes to help the poor fail at three stages:

1. At distribution, the Government selected the poorest of the poor. Which are the single mothers and single grandmothers. Or the handicapped. These people are poor because they cannot work. How can they manage and handle a fish-farming project?

The solution is to divide the distribution into two - half for the poorest of the poor, and half to the poor who can work. With the stipulation that the able-bodied ones have to make it work.

2. Management. Some projects were given without thinking or planning about what, how and who will manage it. There are also not enough resources given.

Fish-farming, you need to get funds to repair the nets and cages. A place to store food. Transportation to get food where you want it. You even need to construct a hut where the fish-farmers can sleep and pray, and do their nightly shifts.

3. Point of sale. So after a minimum of six months, and the fish are all grown, where do you sell it to? Relying on restaurants and hotels around Kuantan or any one city is suicide.

Plans should be done to market the fish in KL or even construct a service to freeze the fish and export them. Something like Halal Journal. Or get some of the hypermarkets to take them. Get a billion-dollar-deal with Giant or Carrefour or Tesco.

If all fish-farming projects, Government or privately-owned can band together under one cooperation, it will be an entity to be reckoned with.

And that's just fish. Emulating India, we can have co-ops for cow-herding, sheep-rearing, maize-planting, etc.

Cars are a-changing. Even today's cars have so many electronic parts in them that the mechanics of old are having difficulties repairing them.

Solution: get some of the car companies to hold workshops for simple maintenance for the willing and interested uneducated people. And some traditional mechanics as well. Tax-deductible, of course.

Force a franchise mechanic system, or get the companies to erect workshops all over the place. With local manpower. 70% local manpower. With continuous training.

It works for the motor industry, and it works for the people.

With the rise in hybrids and alternative-fuel cars, this will soon become a necessity.

Man, I am so cool. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go and suck my own dick.