Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Lord of Destruction's Birthday Presents

I am the Lord of Destruction. And my birthday is coming up.

I was born on March 8 - International Women's Day. Which means that I'm God's gift to international women.

Incidentally, it also Datuk Seri S Samy Vellu's birthday. meaning I will one day become Works Minister, and my sister-in-law will be a very rich woman. Hehehe.

On my birthday, I will lock myself up in my house and have everything delivered. I am not going out, and I am not celebrating it with idiots.

But you can send me birthday presents. Here's a list:

1. RM2 million.

- With RM2 million, I can retire. I'll go back to Kuantan and focus on writing books, comic books and movie scripts properly. As I go to the gym every day and learn Kendo and Jujitsu.

2. USD 400 million.

With this kind of money, I'm going to save the world.

3. Nikon D40 and lenses, bag, cards, tripod, SB800 flash unit or SB400.

To take better pictures than Elizabeth Wong.

4. A laptop.

Any laptop will do. As long as it works.

5. Volkswagen Touareg

Best car ever. Better than Toyota Camry.

6. Threesome with Jessica Alba and Natalie Portman


7. Jinzo!

A full anti-trap deck with enough 15 card substitutes to make it an anti-magic deck, with Kinetic Soldiers and shit.

8. An offer to write and produce a new season of Boston Legal

Best. Series. Ever.

9. A kitten.

The Lord of Destruction is thinking of getting a pet. A normal kitten will do. I don't want a Persian, and prefer Spartan cats.

10. An office chair.

I'm spending more and more time in front of the computer, and I'm getting backaches. I need a proper chair.

I might get this one for myself.