Sunday, March 22, 2009

Kabutogani Kodainosakana

Okay, I'm taking a break for an hour. My work is half done. Just need to get away for a while. For just one hour.

Yesterday, I met a close friend who told a sad story. No, it's not sad. It's pathetic.

Apparently, a 22-year-old girl started flirting with him. He responded and even went to JB for the chick.

Then she told him that she was just kidding.

Muahahaha. Loser!

So he went back to KL.

A day later, she told him she now knows he wants her and asks for marriage plans.

So he started giving her attention.

Muahahahaha! Loser!

I was like, "Dude, she's 22."

He: Yeah.

Me: You know?

He: Yeah, I know.

Me: On top of that, she only wants attention. Without sucking dick.

He: Yeah, I can be disgusting when it comes to these things.

Me: Yeah, like that last time when you wanted to marry a stripper. Remember?

He: I know, I know.

Me: The way I see it, you have a few options.

He: ?

Me: 1. Date-rape drug. GHB. Infect her with something, like pregnancy or some shit.

He: Ha. Ha.

Me: I wouldn't recommend it because rape is wrong, but there you go.

He: What else?

Me: 2. Play her game.

He: God, I hate that.

Me: 3. Zen-Mastery.

He: What?

Me: Accept everything as they are. Nothing you can do about it. Nothing you do will change people. So fuck it. Hobbes was right. Live life as you want it and forget this shit.

He: Errr...?

Me: Or 4. Loserdom.

He: I think I'll choose loserdom.

Me: Okay.

Thing is, man, after crashing and burning for 5 times, I have decided to take myself out of the market. My friend, despite being like, the second most-rejected man in human history (our other friend, T, being undisputed champion), still clings to that hope of one day finding the one.

Hahaha. What a woman. You're such a fucking girl, dude!

Being in love is chemically no different than eating lots and lots of chocolate. Al Pacino, yo! And girls are almost always whores for attention. Or cash. And men only want sex. To this end, we will tell you anything and everything you want to hear.

Me? I'm done looking. I'm almost 30 and I have no time for these bullshit games. The only games I want to play are Yugi-Oh, CM, Jagged Alliance 2 and Super Robot Wars Alpha Gaiden.

And having a woman is expensive as well. At low estimates, a non-hooker will cost you at least RM2,500 per month. A hooker? From as low as RM6. You basically get the same thing, except with a hooker, there is a guarantee of ejaculation.