Saturday, March 7, 2009

Celebrating 29 Years of Excellence

The Doomsday Clock stands at one year before 30.

Some people axed me for some solutions to the problems plaguing our country. Like I give a fuck, and like I matter.

Okay. SO here goes.

1. Teaching Maths and Science in...?

Bahasa Malaysia? English? Mandarin?

Fuck no!

Teach 'em in EBONICS. Yeah, that's right. Cause so many Malaysians wanna be blacks.

Yo this, yo that. Nigger this, nigger that. Nigger, please. Ya ain't niggers. Y'all chinks! And no, they can't tell the difference.

Malay? Chink. Chinese? Chink. Indian? Black-skinned, maybe, but NOT Black American.

Here's a situation in class:

Teacher: Yo, whaddup, Detroit? Y'all know me, still same OG. Yo koochie!

Female Student: Yes, sir.

T: Bitch, please. Again.

FS: I mean, 'sup nigger?

T: What be 2 and 2?

FS: Nigga, please. This ain't no primary school. Don't be bringin' that weak ass game in here.

Male STudent: Ooh! Face! Yo! This is mah house!

T: Fuck you too, bitch. Call the cops!

2. A system for all

Democracy? Monarchy? Fuck that. Let's all go for Democratic Socialism. Or the Hypocrite System.

Means, we let go on the free market whatever industry is profitable to us and let the feds control industries that don't make money. Oh, wait, nevermind.

3. Racism

Interracial fucking, interracial fucking, interracial fucking. Inter-fucking-racial fucking-fucking.

4. PR vs BN.

Let's settle this once and for all. Organise a televised deathmatch. Have a ring surrounded by giant metal poisonous spikes. Whoever loses, dies. And whoever wins, gets thrown on the giant metal poisonous spikes. And dies.

End of story.

5. Idiots

A nuclear war. A huge, global nuclear war.