Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Generation Mee

I'm not Generation Me. I am part of Generation Mee. We eat mee goreng and mee maggi.

In fact, I am Degeneration M - people who grew up under the rule of Dr M as Prime Minister.

Dr M has been very influential to a lot of Malaysians.

Some people say that he was cruel. Not here to debate, cause I know jack shit about your plight. I just don't think he was cruel.

If I was PM, I would show you cruel.

Under my PM administration, you are either happy and prosperous or dead. I give you no other choice. Repent, or die. Hmmm... where have I heard that before?

Every day, I would kill at least a dozen people. And then blame it on PAS. And Anwar.

Porn would be a compulsory subject for everyone. Failing porn would be punishable by death. Idiots will be spayed and/or neutered.

I will also make it compulsory for all hot chicks to suck my dick. And play with my balls. In fact, playing with my balls will be a national sport.

Religious texts would be comic books, especially those written by Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore, Grant Morrison, Warren Ellis and Garth Ennis.

Rebellion is encouraged, but failure to overcome the bloated military will result in a death sentence for your entire family.

Just for fucks, I will capture some people and crucify them. Then, I will ensure they get gangrene on their arms or legs. Then, I will amputate that arm or leg and have the meat cooked and fed to the prisoners.

Parents who could not care for their children will see their entire family executed before their very eyes.

Marriages that cost more than 20K will be annulled and the bride as well as the groom spayed, neutered and raped.

Cruel, you say? Maybe. But people will always complain anyway. Ho-hum.