Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Return of Boron: The Most Boring Man in the Universe

So I had dinner with a couple of friends and their child, as well as one of their cousins.

The family is going off to Canada. For good. Forever.

Oh well.

I like to think that I had a huge part in convincing them to leave. But no, I am not responsible.

They have always wanted to leave, and I was merely the cheerleader. Sans the outfit and pom-poms.

With their child growing up, I guess it would be for the best. You don't want to send that child to school where Dongs and Koks will try to subvert the education system every step of the way.

This is why I do not and will not have children. I cannot summon A MONSTER'S SOOOOUUULLLL FROM THE GRAVEYARD! And send it to school in Malaysia.

This is no place to raise children. Look at all the bullshit both PR and BN try to pull. EVERY FUCKING DAY.

I mean, I am megalomaniacal enough to think that I turned out pretty well. But in reality, that's just cause I'm a genius.

Sheer brain capacity and a complete disregard for people have helped me along the way. I never liked the idea of being one with the herd, cause I used to follow my brother and sisters herd cows. And cows are stupid. Delicious, but stupid.

The individual cow might be smart. But in a herd, all it's ever good for is food.

Anyway, back to the dinner. We had beef. Lots of it.

Then I went and had a few drinks with some atheist/agnostic friends. I used to think that religion will one day destroy the world. Then, an episode of South Park changed my mind.

In thatn episode, Cartman was frozen (cause he could not stand waiting for a new game thing to come out) and was thawed many years in the future.

Apparently, in the future, Richard Dawkins won the battle in convincing people to become atheists.

So instead of saying, "Oh, my God!" the people in the future say, "Oh, my Science!"

However, wars still happen. People still fight, DESPITE the absence of religion. Why? Because perhaps it is human nature to fight and religion is one of many excuses.

Also, humankind in the future will also be attacked by a race of evolved beavers.


Cause beavers don't agree with humans eating on tables.

"Why eat on tables, when you can eat off your stomach?" said the beaver.

So, with South Park as my gospel, I can safely say that religion does not kill people. People kill people.

So fuck you, atheists!

What else?

Migration. Education. Religion.


Okay, race.

I am an omni-racist. Meaning I HATE all races. If you have a race, I hate you. If you are in a race, I hate you.

Unless you're Thai. I love Thais. And Thai food. And Thai pussy. I mean, Siamese cats. Yes. I love Siamese cats.

I am not racist. I am omni-racist. Geddit? All this racism needs some re-branding, nigra!

And the race I hate the most? Pretend-liberals. Cause they're judgmental and racist. And they pretend to be liberals, but belong more with the Ku Klux Klan.

Hell, I hate everyone. That's my base reading.

And why the fuck can't I sleep at 5am? I woke up an hour ago to drink and I can't seem to get back to sleep.

Meaning: Time for a Tiger? NO! Time for some cough syrup and anti-nausea drugs. Man, I gotta get me some Valium.