Wishington - President Barrack Obama today announced one million ebonics vernacular schools to be set-up all over the country. He cited as racism against blacks and nigras for several hundred years as the driving force behind the push.
"I iz black, nigra! And I'm the Preh-zo-DENT!" said the Prezodent. "My peeps needz to learn 'em proper way to say 'bling'. We iz culture is facing demize from all-a-this proper grammer and shit. What we need is a lil' Kantry Grammer."
When asked to explain what he just said, Obama went off the handle.
"Y'all slave owners!"
And went on for 30 minutes, quoting Tupac, Snoop and Biggie, with a little Puffy thrown in for good measure.
After consulting with our 'ebonics' expert(white rapper Vanilla Ice), it seems that Preh-zo-DENT Obama believes that blacks deserve a separate school system that will teach them hip hop, R&B, basketball, football and drug dealing.
Language is also cited as a major issue as Obama believes that the current system, emphasizing 'proper English' is the root cause of black students falling behind and discriminated against.
Obama also mentioned Malaysia as a model he wishes to emulate, where the many ethnicities have their own separate school systems.
"And dem all had only one or two massacres to show for it. For show!"