Monday, May 25, 2009

1 per cent!

Now that I am a specialist in PTPTN summonses, I would like to set up a business.

Anyone having been served the papers and told to attend court proceedings can contact me for advice on how to proceed.

This is not legal advice. This is just common sense and experience.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the Academy, Jesus Christ, Muhammad, Buddha, Budai, Xenu, Ganesha and God for giving me this talent.

Also thanks to lawyer M. You know who you are.

I didn't get my chance to do an Alan Shore, but you made me feel like Alan Shore's client.

And for no particular reason - the firm of Salleh Abbas, Yacob and Sofiah.

Also, the five lawyer dudes who helped me today.

And paid for my drinks.

Who says lawyers are heartless bastards?

Well, those in ARR&Co are fucktards and expect a letter from me soon, you fucking bastards!

I am spiteful enough and Malay enough to spend all my resources available to me in order to make your lives miserable.

Nah. Just kidding. Relax. No one is going to scratch your fancy cars.

And I would like to thank my parents, the directors I am working with, my business partners, my mentors, and a shout-out to the people in the original The Malay Mail, Astro and Measat Pub.

Also the peeps at Nasty Pee. May your pee not be nasty, and if it is, take some penicillin shots. Works like a charm, or so I've been told.

Anyway, anyone who wishes to take on the Big P, I will charge you 1% of my loan each for personalised advice.

Now, if 112 of you would like to step forward, I'll go merrily on my way.