Saturday, May 16, 2009

House of M: Degeneration M

In order to be the man, you got to beat the man.


Today, that man was Dr M.

You have seen him in action on CNBC Asia.

CNBC Reporter: Why did you imprison your deputy - Anwar Ibrahim?

Dr M: I didn't imprison him. The courts found him guilty of abuse of power. SHould I bend the rules for just one man, just cause he was my protege?

Ooh! Face!

And also Dr M in action on BBC Hardtalk.

Hardtalk Guy: Let's talk about your human rights record. You imprisoned hundreds of people during your time.

Dr M: Who?

HG: Erm...aaahhh...uhhh...

Dr M: Name them.

HG: Okay, let's not get sidetracked here.

Dr M: You wanted to talk about human rights issues under my administration. You know what I don't like about the Western media? You people create stories, and then you believe in them.

Ooh! Face! This is mah HOUSE! Don't be bringin' that weak ass shit in here!

I grew up under the 'iron claws' of Dr M's rule. If I had any regret was that the rule was not for much longer than it was.

So I'm part of Degeneration M. The elements in society that fell on the wayside and constructed our own culture of porn, cursing and comic books.

So today, was the first time I saw the guy in person. Funny. He's much smaller than I thought he would be.

He addressed a room full of journalists, bloggers and other people.

After speaking for half an hour, the floor was opened for questions.

Now, here's the thing. I'm all for freedom of speech, and was glad that the questions came from people who were clearly against him for something. I'm not sure what.

But the intros, my God!

Just ask the fucking questions la.

The first question should have been:

"You talk of media control under Pak Lah's administration. How different is it when you were in power? Weren't you also in control of the media?"

Instead, the person who asked it went on and on about sucking toes and whatever the fuck.

The second question went something like this:

"During your 22 years in power, why didn't you turn this country into FIRST country? Blablablablabla."

What the fuck is FIRST Country?

Does that mean burning all other countries under nuclear bombs and designating Malaysia as the world's FIRST country?

I think she meant FIRST WORLD country. You know, like what Singapore proclaims itself to be?

And then there was a guy whom asked what he said was a two-part question. The first part alone was a statement that took five whole minutes. And the second part just got lost under, in my opinion, a landslide of self-promoting bullshit.

What a waste of time, motherfuckers!

And you think you're better than the man?

I just wished they had asked Dr M harder questions. Some things that would be difficult to answer.

Did these people even come prepared?

I mean, you know Dr M. He can tai-chi you back to Timbuktu. So your game must be at his level or even higher.

In my opinion, I believe the level of questions was quite pedestrian.

And yes, I am a fan of Dr M's work. But that doesn't mean I agree with everything he did.

I mean, he said that we sell water to Singapore for 3 cents per thousand gallons. And they sell treated water back to us at 50 cents per thousand gallons or some shit like that.

What they COULD have asked was, "In 22 years of administration, why didn't you construct a water treatment plant in Johor to eliminate the need for buying water from Singapore?"


"If supplying water to SIngapore is SO nonsensical, why are we doing it? When Selangor and even Pahang sometimes suffers from water supply failure?"

I am sure Dr M would have had some answers ready.

Why didn't I ask those questions myself?

Because honestly, I don't care.

I believe that no matter how despicable Singapore is in their dealings with us, I do not think we should let them drink processed urine. No matter what they have done to us, they are still people. Humans. More or less. And we simply cannot allow our neighbours to suffer so much. Because we Malaysians, I believe, are good people.

Doesn't mean we should let others walk all over us. But it's water, man. A necessity to life.

Anyway, back to the questions.

I believe that harder questions should be asked. Cause I want to see a higher level of play. Like Barcelona Vs Chelsea, during Mourinho's time.

Not Barcelona Vs Colchester.

I mean, what the fuck?

So go home, take a pencil, and draft up better questions for Dr M for the next time he allows questions to be asked.

And please, for the love of GOD! Cut with the introductions to yourself and whatever else. Just get to the point. We are not at your blog, and we don't care. Respect our time.