Thursday, August 4, 2011


Today, this morning, I'm heading to Seremban. Got some work to do, brosephs.

I lived in Seremban for five years. Five, hellish years. Well, actually, not so hellish for me.

I was in SDAR - a boarding school that recently moved to Seremban III from Seremban. Seremban III is also known as Sungai Gadut.

I came from the swamp, yo, so I was already a weird kid - and I'm still weird now - when I joined the school.

Being in SDAR meant we were the top 400 boys in Malaysia. Cause SDAR is number four amongst boys' schools back then.

First is MCKK. Second is either SAS or STAR, and SDAR brings up the rear. MCKK, you have to be connected to get in. Then, they push some geniuses in, to make sure they got some smart people as well.

SDAR's main sport was rugby. IS rugby, I think. I was never a sportsman. Hated sports. ANd I loathed drawing attention to myself.

One senior found out I could write in English, so I became his personal Cyrano. I was writing love letters to his girlfriend, cause his England not so tall.

Well, I got the last laugh, cause I wrote them all following conventions found in sci-fi and horror.

The one thing I liked about that school is the library. I loved that library cause it had loads of fiction in it. There's the Stephen King set, the Robotech set, as well as most works of Asimov and Clarke. There was a Snoopy encyclopedia set.

Not much Malay books, though. I had my fill of those in primary school.

The food, though, was awesome. We ate six times a day. Breakfast was usually fried noodles, nasi lemak or bread and eggs - either scrambled or boiled.

Recess period meant milk - chocolate, strawberry, corn or whatever. Lunch was rice and other stuff. Mondays it was chicken curry. Saturdays meant chicken rice sometimes. Then, there's tea which used to be curry puffs until we got it changed to hot dogs and beans.

Dinner was almost the same as lunch, with an ice-cream cone every Thursday. Supper was fried noodles, fried rice or whatever.

Funnily enough, the dining hall budget was supplemented by taking funds from the library.

We were sacrificing knowledge for food. And no one complained.

There are lots of stories of buttfucking. Usually told by kids who went to other schools. I was never involved, so I wouldn't know. I do remember that those were dark times. Not for me, cause I escaped with my butthole intact. I got slapped around a bit, but I was never beaten up properly. No one kicked the shit out of me, not cause I was a big kid, but because there was absolutely no political value in beating me up. Don't ask me about buttfucking. I'm not into that shit.

So any of you fighting for the right to have your kids put in boarding schools, you better find out what it really means. We all scored like shit in exams. I scored all As for PMR and six As for SPM. 8 aggregate, with minimal studying, cause the culture is such that you can't help but learn shit. We had to be in class for like, 12 hours a day.

We were number one in Malaysia for PMR in 1995 (most of us got all As, except for like, 7 kids or some shit), until some STF or TKC girls went and re-checked their papers with the Ministry. If you're one of those girls, I wish you have 24 kids.

In retrospect, it wasn't all that bad, but I would not want to go through that again. Even my circumcision was more fun. I got jigsaw puzzles for that. Yay!