Sunday, August 7, 2011


To me, ambition is for before you are 25. After you're 25 years of age, you are too busy working to fantasize what you want.

The problem I have with ambition, is because it's about WHO you want to be. Not WHAT you want to get. If it's a what, that's a goal. Goals are fine. The BE stuff, is dumb, for older people.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a detective or a scientist. It was either that or a firefighter.

As I entered my teens, I wanted to be a financial speculator. Like George Soros. But I soon discovered I was too dumb to be in finance. My ego was all about "I will never lie" and it is this arrogance that prevents me from being an effective lawyer or finance person.

So, I decided to become a hacker, because I wanted to fuck Angelina Jolie. And then become a writer after I hit 55. So I took computer science with networking as a major.

As I was about to graduate, I felt something was wrong and I have always trusted my instincts. So I joined a cult and faced myself like Luke Skywalker did in that cave. Turned out, I wanted to be a writer.

So I said fuck off to the world of computers, and became a writer. I thought that was it. I was going to stay at that job until I die. And then things happened and I had no choice but to leave. I continued writing. Did production for a few years, and then went back to journalism.

By this time, I no longer had any ambition. Right now, today, if you ask me, my goal is simply to do work and to do good work. I don't want to be anything. I want to have freedom. I don't want to be 'Captain Freedom' or Freedomonster. I just want to have the ability to sit back and relax. And fight stupidity.

I am happier than I was 10 years ago. Simply because I do not mind what happens.

I've done some stuff - some good, some bad. ANd realistically, I will continue to do some good and some bad stuff.

There's nothing I'd rather be.