Friday, August 26, 2011

The Hole

Just something before I sleep.

It felt like 2008 all over again. My old Boss Rocky is making waves with his new portal, even before it is launched.

Some people have been calling me for info, and I had to reiterate that no, I am not Rocky's PA, and that yes, perhaps I should ask for money to take calls and SMSes, and that no, I don't go to Press Club that much anymore.

Rocky talked about The Mole since two, three years ago. I had an idea for a different, unrelated site called The Hole. Like in Transmet (Transmetropolitan, Warren Ellis' comic book about journalism in the future).

The protagonist Spider Jerusalem in Transmet wrote for the newspaper The Word and then The Hole.

I fancied that The Hole would be a dumping ground for almost anything, drawing the lines at child pornography. If there were hot arguments, I'd put up a banner saying, "fire in The Hole!" and people who link to anything from the site would have automatic text saying "I found it in The Hole!" tagged to their social media thing.

"Put it over The Hole!"

"A Hole in One!" - iPad/Android/Playbook app

And so on.

As Carnifex and Psychopomp of The Hole, I would have had my login and display name to be The S with the Superman logo.

So when people ask, "Who is he?"

"He is The S!"

"S who?"

"The S from The Hole. The S-Hole!"

All that drama, so I could call myself an asshole. That would have been cool.

Somebody else could be Bung-Hole. Or Black-Hole.

But no. My ideas for The Hole are shelved at the moment, and Rocky went on to do The Mole. Which reminds me more of Moll Flanders than Mr Mole of Wind in the Willows.

Moll Flanders was a long saga of strife and survival in shitty ye olde England. And her name is pronounced 'mole'.

Ah, but if only I could do The Hole properly. I had the marketing plan and everything. It could possibly generate a lot of income. For everyone.

But for now, I shall bide my time. The Hole might not be The Hole when I finish it, maybe later in life. Maybe I'll call it FuckYouBitch.com or BijiKelentit.com or MaderFucker.com.

And the name is just the name. Any name is whatever. I mean, Google is a dumb name. What the fuck? Can't you spell googol?

One of my favourite sites is Pictureisunrelated.com. What a long-ass name, but I remember it. And so do millions of people, every day.

Pbfcomics.com Sinfest.com xkcd.com thebestpageintheuniverse.net - all beacons for Internet culture of stupidity.

Cause the minute you take yourself too seriously, you lose street cred and then you're dead.

Well, I wish my old boss and other old bosses well. I believe in taking as much information as one could, so another site would be fine and perhaps fun.

We shall see.

Cheerio!