Sunday, August 7, 2011

Positive/Negative Affirmation = Delusion

I have gone through quite a few motivational courses and have met a lot of people who are believers in either being positive or simply being negative.

While courses and whatever can work for you in different ways, forcing yourself to be either positive or negative is bullshit.

You can taste the pretentiousness and the fakery from a mile away. You can smell it from another continent.

There are several acts.

1. Being jaded

Some people pretend to be jaded about everythin. As if they have gone through everything life has to offer. Newsflash, asshole: You haven't. You can only make that claim after you are no longer alive. So unless you're dead, shut the fuck up and spare me the cynical bullshit.

2. Always great

Some people believe it is a sin to be sad or morose. That it's wrong. Fuck you. Sometimes, you are sad or morose. Sometimes, you are happy. The only way to stay happy is to snort crystal meth until you die, which if you have two kilos worth, you can probably die in 2 hours.

These people, when they ask me, "How are you, Amir?"

"Oh, I'm fine."

"JUST fine?"

"I'm okay, really."

"OWH-KAY? OKAY? That's it?"

"Listen, dumbass, take your fake concern, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it up your candy ass!"

I've worked very hard through my youth to get to a stage where I am quite comfortable and happy just being fine. I take pleasure from just sitting down and not doing shit. I take pleasure in doing my work. I no longer need to get drunk or high and dance on a pole in order to be happy.

And you know what? Most people don't need all these other things. A lot of us just prefer to sit down and read a book and not be bothered.

The 'jaded' ones, meanwhile, are also fake. I hate them. Nothing makes them happy other than telling people how unhappy they are.

"I got a raise, but hell, man, I need more so I can migrate. And it's only a measly 2,000 dollar raise."

Listen, asshole, if you really are miserable anywhere, just get on a boat and become a boat person. Boat people sure have it better than you. Cause they're on a boat.

Some people don't realise that there are kids in Malaysia, who have never eaten a single fast food item, cause they so poor. You don't believe me? I can round up a few hundred of them kids.

These people move to extreme ends of the spectrum because they are racists and judgmental. They do not comprehend the fact that people can be all sorts of different things at all sorts of different times. And that different things make people happy or sad.

I am sad when I watch dog movies or that Futurama episode. I get angry when I think of stupidity. I do not like stupid, racist people, but I don't let them get to me anymore. I will kill them all, but without any hatred.

I am happy and contented, reading the latest issue of a translated Detective Conan comic book while drinking a RM1.50 glass of tea. I am happy when I wake up and find that all my work is done. I am happy sitting down and doing my work, without rushing. I am happy to be around some people I like. I am happy when I settle my debts. I am happy when I turn on my fan and it works. I am happy drinking plain water from my water dispenser. I am happy when I could help.

These are all just great. There's no drama. No bullshit. I just love living an uncluttered life.

But most of the time, I just want to be left alone. Without these bullshit pole-enders coming to me and either asking me how my day was or trying to lump their pain in a contest to see who is in more agony. I'm not in agony, thank you very much, so fuck you and your family. May you all die of radiation poisoning.