Thursday, August 12, 2010


In truth, my responsibilities are severely limited.

I'm not a superhero. Not the centre of the universe. Not the one responsible for anyone else.

I am responsible for me. For my own awakening and state of consciousness.

And I am also responsible to do unto others what have been done unto me. The good stuff, of course. If I were to do the bad stuff - and sometimes I do - then I'm not being responsible for myself.

Accepting that I am not responsible for other people's happiness and/or misery was difficult. I've always believed that I was given so many things, so that I could fix people. But I can't. And now, I won't.

Orion, in the Kingdom Come comics finally realised this truth after he defeated his father Darkseid and became ruler of his world.

Having been under an iron fisted rule for millenia, the people did not know what to make of democracy and simply elected Orion as their leader, cause he defeated the old leader, thus creating something undemocratic in the end.

You can't force fake people to be real. You can't drag people from their delusions. You can't get a pain-worshipper to stop abusing themselves. It's impossible. I tried. Very hard.

One of my friends who is going through a painful divorce didn't listen to my advice and will now lose his kids, his house, his car and perhaps 30-70% of his income to his ex-wife.

I had to stand by the side and watch this whole man's life crumble to pieces. Do you know how hard it was for someone like me?

In the end, though, I suspect that he probably wanted it. He wanted to destroy his life. He wanted to lose the kids. Cause if he didn't, he would have stopped the whole thing.

He would have listened to me, and we'd be drinking now, laughing at that bitch's miserable life.

Hard to believe, but some people do crave drama. They do crave pain. They want to kill themselves. And there's nothing you or I or anyone else can do about it.

Step aside and let them fall. It's not our responsibility.

These past few weeks have been tough, but with all the shit I learned about myself, I am looking forward to tomorrow and whatever it brings.