Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Oh God, I started reading introductions. I really should be sleeping.

Oh well.

Whilst reading, it occured to me that most, if not all of you, will never understand my jokes.

The Malaysian grasp of the concept of humor is underdeveloped.

A friend once mentioned, and I do agree to his observation, that Malaysians are the most cynical people ever. EVAR!

And he said it with a sense of pride.

I find it kind of, well, sad.

As a cynic, I can say that being cynical has its virtues, but you don't want to do it all the time. It's like having rice ALL the time. It's so boring. You don't want to have rice all the - ah, yes. Sorry.

I know of a few people who were alive when man first walked on the moon. One of my lecturer's parents.

He had gone home with the news, proudly, as he was one of the few who had the chance to go to college.

His parents received the news with utter disbelief.

"If their 'rocket ship' were to fly past the clouds, they would meet God!" they objected, in disbelief.

I find that the danger in not easily believing things is to easily believe in anything.

I know of proud atheists who fell prey to the African money scam, and other cons. Hell, I even know of double degree holders who support PR.

Cynicism is one thing. Most of the time, they just don't get it.

They don't get sarcasm. This is a big thing.


Idiot: Why did you help her?

Me: I helped her for the sole purpose of putting my penis in her vagina.

Idiot: God, you're SICK! She's like, 70 years old, you FUCK!


And then, exposure.

People are exposed to different things.

The stuff I have been exposed to, they don't get. I mean, I could hardly find any of my contemporaries who have watched as much TV as I did in the 80s.

No many see South Park and Futurama as sources of wisdom.

And then, there's this thing about personal experience. Imagine if we are in the same room, and Jessica Alba comes in and starts to strip.

Each person would have a different experience.

Girl #1: Oh my God! Did you see what kind of underwear she was wearing? It's [Insert Brand here]! Hey, I wear it too! So I must look as good as Jessica Alba!

Girl #2: She is doing a disservice to women all over! We fought all those years so that ugly hos also have the right not to have perfect tits and ass to be shoved down our throats! To remind us that we're ugly hos! Who don't shave!

Me: Can you pass me the petroleum jelly?


So no, man. My humor is just too sophisticated for mere stupid, soulless motherfuckers.

Ahhhh. Man. I need to get to sleep. Maybe the new Maria Ozawa porn will help alleviate my insomnia.