Thursday, December 25, 2008

Whispered Secrets of a Shattered Age

Legend of Prince Valiant, yo!

I used to love this show, particularly for that opening theme.

It was one of the best Tuesday or Thursday cartoons ever.

The cartoons I liked when I was growing up in the 80s, and all the good shows, they always seemd to follow some sort of mystical categorization, according to days.

Monday shows almost always sucked. They began the week, for me, and it had always been crappy. I can't remember anything except for some really bad Hanna-Barbera shit.

Tuesday shows, I've always liked. There was Tosho Daimos, on RTM 2, at 7.30pm. Tuesday shows and Thursday shows always seemed like exotic shit.

Thursdays, there were Masked Rider Black, Space Cop Gaban, Moero Attack, Batman, Get Smart.

It was always edgy shit. Tosho Daimos questioned the sanity of waging war. And planted the seeds of interracial fucking in my head. The lead fell in love with one of the aliens, who had wings - Erika - who of course lost her memory and the ability to get her wings out.

And if you can fall for the enemy, you can't really hate the enemy.

Masked Rider Black, meanwhile, is the darkest, most serious Masked Rider of them all, without resorting to gay bishounen shit like the new ones.

Wednesdays were weird. Space Cop Gaban originally aired on Wednesdays, on TV2. At 4.30pm. Or something. Then, there was Jem and the Holograms - one of the few 80s cartoons that actually had a continuous, serious storyline.

Galtar and the Golden Lance was also on Wednesday at one time.

Comic Strips, which featured Karate Kat and Tigersharks.

Fridays, there were the classics. Macross and later, Mospeada. Transformers competing directly with Challenge of the Gobots. MASK, at one time, was also on Friday. Silverhawks - another Thundercats knock-off.

Dungeons and Dragons was the cartoon at 7.30pm. I was not really a Miss Comet fan - a Japanese serial about a girl from space.

Saturdays were the ultimate cartoon day.

Robotech, man. Robotech. The one thing that made me get up before 9.30am, every Saturday, every week, for three years.

It was on at TV3. Over at TV2, there was Transformers - the Japanese series. Headmaster, V for Victory and that other thing. With Fortress Maximus.

Thundercats was also aired on Saturdays, I think. So was Robotix, at that weird 1pm timeslot.

ANd that cult favourite - Visionaries. I dig the verses they had to recite in order to activate their power staves. Best one, to me, was the Power of Knowledge.

A whim, a thought, and more is sought.
Awake my mind, thy will be wrotught!


But it always sucked how the questions that stupid asshole Arzon asked always seemed to be stupid things.

Why didn't he just ask, "How do I defeat the bad guys in this episode?"

Or, "How do I kill them once and for all?"

Or, "What is the best possible solution for me, and how do I do it?"

But noooo. That fucker had to go and ask stupid shit like, "Who is that man?"

What the fuck, man?

And the staff with the Power of Wisdom is sooo stupid. It's like Knowledge, but the fucking apparition had to deliver knowledge in fucking riddles. Riddles, I tell you!

Whispered secrets of a shatterd age, blablabla renew this sage!

"Umm, how do we get out of this shit? And the water's rising fast!"

"Oh, well, ummm...let me can I be obscure in this? Ah, yes. One arrow, break. Many arrows, don't break. But what do arrows have in common with people? I wonder..."

"Gee. Thanks. Dick."

Sunday sucked.