Thursday, December 11, 2008

Death: The High Cost of Living

For the price they charged for the haircut, it would have been appropriate for me to get a blowjob as well.

In the words of Chris Rock: "When I pay that kind of money, I'm used to cummin'."

Well, actually, no. The haircut was appropriately-priced. I'm just fucking here.

As I walk through the streets of Bangsar, with my new haircut - I'm a street-walker, yo! - time slowed down and I find myself jumping in the air, grabbing telecommunications devices.

And then, some pretentious Malaysians - are there any other kind? - came up to me and asked, "Are you Pan-Asian?"

And I was like, "Fuck you, bitch!"

I. Am. A robot. A barbarian robot. I do not subscribe to such outdated ideals of Pan-Asianism.

In fact, I pan Pan-Asianism worship.

'Asia untuk orang Asia!'

'Fajar telah menyinsing! Bangunlah wahai bangsaku!'

'Cawat kote!'