For the price they charged for the haircut, it would have been appropriate for me to get a blowjob as well.
In the words of Chris Rock: "When I pay that kind of money, I'm used to cummin'."
Well, actually, no. The haircut was appropriately-priced. I'm just fucking here.
As I walk through the streets of Bangsar, with my new haircut - I'm a street-walker, yo! - time slowed down and I find myself jumping in the air, grabbing telecommunications devices.
And then, some pretentious Malaysians - are there any other kind? - came up to me and asked, "Are you Pan-Asian?"
And I was like, "Fuck you, bitch!"
I. Am. A robot. A barbarian robot. I do not subscribe to such outdated ideals of Pan-Asianism.
In fact, I pan Pan-Asianism worship.
'Asia untuk orang Asia!'
'Fajar telah menyinsing! Bangunlah wahai bangsaku!'
'Cawat kote!'
