Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Pistol Grip Pump: The High Cost of Cursing

Recently, some people at Rocky's blog made copious use of the word motherfucker, thus lessening its impact and shock value.

As a person who relies on most humour and annoyance in shock factor, I am appalled by the death of 'motherfucker'.

It used to be that I could just write 'fuck' and whole offices would laugh. As if they have just re-discovered a word their teachers told them never to use decades, probably centuries ago.

People are no longer amused by 'fuck' and adding the prefix 'mother-' and suffix '-er' no longer has the same sting as it did in 1998.

Ten years later, I am compelled to find more curse words in a futile attempt to stay relevant and shocking.

I am considering these curse-candidates:

1. Buttfucking sonofabitch

- not related to the country's foremost buttfucking sonofabitch.

- pronounced as: BUTT-fah-KING SON-of-a-BEETCH!

2. Pantat pukimak mak bapak kau

- a curse that will include both parents, and possibly grandparents as well.

- A nudge in elevating the use of Bahasa Malaysia

3. Mak kau beromen dengan anjing. Bapak kau beromen dengan babi. Dapatlah kau - BANJINGAN!

- Ummh. Too long. Will never catch on.

4. Shit-eating rectal-wart

- too...medical.

5. Horse-fucker

- Mmm. Short. Concise. Easily applied. But has less zing to it.

6. Barbra Streisand

- Mmm. Has potential.

7. Denial-whore cock-sucker!

- Nah. Trying too hard.


The art of cursing is like a cigar. It goes with the meal, the issue, at hand. And sadly, nothing as ubiquituous as 'motherfucker' will ever be seen again.

Oh, why, God? Whyyyy?