The title comes from a Britney Spears song.
Yeah, that's right. Fucking Britney Spears.
Some time ago, when I was going through mid-life crisis, I told some people that my priorities are changing. That I was growing up.
Some of them took it as me wanting what they want. You know, the usual stuff. Marriage. Children. To belong. To be accepted. To be loved.
Like Ewan McGregor at the end of Trainspotting.
I was actually, as usual, only talking about myself.
All my life, I've been an approval-seeker. I only started managing it to acceptable levels a few years ago. But it still had a negative impact on me.
Wanting so much to be a superhero. Cause I believed that being selfish is wrong. Stupid.
The changing priorities mean that I have become priority number one. I am the most important thing in the universe. Instead of what I can do for you, what the fuck can you do for me? Blowjob first, talk later.
Cause even if I am a superhero, I need to save myself first before I can do anything else. I need to make sure that my ship, my shit, and my ass is tight.
In fact, I can be more effective in helping people, if I come from a place of power. Instead of sacrificing myself for every fucktard retarded asshole in the universe.
THAT's the growing up part.