A woman once came to me, all in tears - and I guess you would guess by now that most of my stories concern women, usually crying or climaxing, as a sign of my virility and rampant heterosexuality - and asked me how to be strong.
I was in a state where nothing could touch me. I had all the friends I needed, and some I didn't need, I was making good money and I have just discovered meditation, which has afforded me some sense of clarity in my young life.
I was young, and I was immortal. I was untouchable. And women, usually crying ones, would respond more to men who appear to be strong.
"People tell me I need to be strong," she weeped. "But sometimes, it's so hard!"
"You are being strong right now," I told her, my mind as clear as a lake.
"I believe that strength comes from being true to yourself. If you're sad, cry. If you're angry, throw a tantrum. Not many people are brave enough to face their own emotions."
Nowadays, many put a lot of value in being calm and stoic, which is cool, but sometimes some do that until they deny their human side.
While denying thyself is a Christian concept I much agree with, but to repress anything is poisonous.
Lucifer, in the Lucifer comics, said, of religion, "They tell people to curb their desires, until desire turns to poison, and then they say that it is good medicine."
I believe that in order to move, one must be in possession of all the Truths of the Moment. And if the Truth is you feel something, you should find a way to express it and be in the experience.
Bar suicide, of course, and mass murder. And rape. And buttfucking people who do not want to be buttfucked. You get my drift.
So the woman, finding that I was not as strong as she thought, and that I do not practice looking calm and collected, and that most importantly perhaps, I have no trick or tip to fake it or anything else, for that matter, stopped talking to me.
I was calm, because I was calm. I am calm, because I am calm. If I want to someday climb a tower and start shooting people with a sniper rifle, I might go out there and get a video game that allows me just that.