Sunday, January 9, 2011


For some reason, I feel like writing.

I have an addictive personality and my latest addiction in the past few years has been psycho-analysis.

I have my psycho-partners who know the basics of psychology and we sit and we judge people, their actions, motivations and such.

One of the most startling observations is an obvious one. People who do mean, cruel, even evil things to other people suffer from some sort of self-loathing. Simple, isn't it?

It is very telling, in a lot of cases, when some survivors of abuse or bully cases start assuming the opposite role.

The victim, becomes victimiser. The bullied, becomes the bully and the abused becomes the abuser.

My theory is related to the ego.

When the ego inside all of us believe that something or someone has done something TO us, the ego is diminished and wants to get big again. It needs to 'even the score'. In the ego's mind, it is World: 1, Ego: 0. So naturally the ego wants to get back at the world.

"This time, I'll win." said the ego to no one in particular. So they repeat their stories, but switching their roles. And pretty soon, patterns emerge.

Because the ego is never satisfied and could never be sated. And so the abused child abuses everyone around him or her. The neglected one starts craving attention in the unhealthiest of ways.

"These people have holes inside them which they try to fill," said a friend. Her theory concerns holes in people's souls. It states that if people are satisfied and complete, they will never try to fill the void with alcohol, drugs, food, cigarettes, sex, adrenaline or even the company of friends or mental stimulus.

That man was created incomplete and imperfect.

I also believe that it has to do with self-loathing in the aspect of rejection to one's self and situations.

I have met people who try to convince themselves and everyone else that everyone is like them. This stems from a feeling of being ashamed of who and what they are. So much so, that the ego needs to bring everyone to 'their level', which they view as very low indeed.

This is why I say that people who see 'levels' are dumb.

Whether you believe in God or Science, Eywa or Atheismo, do you really believe that science or God play favourites? Do you really believe that if you were to jump off an 88-storey building, either the rules of gravity would not apply to you, because you're you, or that an invisible pink unicorn - with wings - would swoop down from the sky, sent by God, to save you from that fall? So that you would never hit the ground?

I don't think so.

I believe that people who believe themselves to be above the laws of science and nature to be very self-centered and extremely delusional. I also believe that this comes from a denial of self.

If you do accept yourself - your real self, and not the ego which pretends to be you - you would understand that you are not special. That in the eyes of Dr Manhattan from the Watchmen comics, 'the world's smartest man is as relevant as the world's smartest termite.'

It helps, to talk to astronomers. They see things from a geological standpoint. Time is measured in the millions, perhaps billions of years.

"All we see of stars, are their old photographs." - Dr Manhattan

It helps to see the significance of a rude cab driver when compared to supernovas and the ever expanding universe which traverses many billions of light years, as well as the forces of entropy that pushes back. These are the basis of the manga Akira by Katsuhiro Otomo. Read it, sometimes. It is very educational. And no, the anime only covers the first chapters.

People talk about significance and relevance as if they matter. In Truth, no one does. Without humans, this world would still be alive. In fact, it would be more alive with flying cats and highly evolved dogs. Apes with their society, then the cows, birds and perhaps slugs.

"They did it! They blew it up! And then the apes came and blew up their society! And then the cows! And then the birds took over, and then, I dunno, is that a slug or something? NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!" - Fry, from Futurama

Oh well.