Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Tenets of Atheism

Beware! Atheists walk amongst us! They also believe in the future, pertaining to some predictions about certain future events. They say that these future events will affect us... in the future!*

Atheists believe in the god Atheismo. They believe that Atheismo created the world between 13.5 to 14 billion years ago.

However, since the Great Atheismo has confidence issues, he does not recognise his handiwork or his involvement in the creation of the universe.

"I was just, you know, messing around," he said, in an interview. "It was just... random."

And so Atheismo slept on the final billionth year, leaving things to unfold as they would. He also died, but death ahs never had a hold on Atheismo.

Atheists wait for the day when Atheismo will wake up from his slumber and gobble the world up entirely.

The crazed poet Abi Al-Hazred wrote, "In his house, in sunken R'lyeh, dead Atheismo lies dreaming.

"That is not dead with which eternal lie, and with strange Ians, even death may die."

It is believed that the 'strange Ian' is in fact, Globetrekker Ian Wright. That one day, he will travel to the prophesised R'lyeh and wake up Atheismo.

An ancient sacred video called Futurama credits Atheismo as one of the great Gods prayed to in the distant future.

* Research Ed Wood