Saturday, January 30, 2010


I spent the better half of this morning, talking to a pretty girl. I am such a fucking stud.

I was like, "Hey, Pretty Girl!"

And she was like, "Hey, Big John Stud!"

"I'm more like, Ravishing Rick Rude," I said. With the butt-clenching kisses to punctuate my remark.

Val Venis: Hello, Ladies!

Me: ...

Pretty Girl: ...

Me: Get off my fucking story, Penis!

Pal Penis: Urrrgggghhhh!

Pretty Girls make everything okay. I mean, I spend the whole week looking at my ugly colleagues. During weekends at least, I get my dose of eye candy and stay sane.