Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Ask Uncle Agony

Today, I, The Malay Male, His Royal Highness The Ego, Man of Tomorrow, Pimp Masta G, National Pornographic Sexplorer, The Venerable (NOT Venereal) Count Clitoris will deign to answer some of the questions from the plebiean you.

Billions of you emailed me questions. I will answer only a select few.

Question 1:

Malay Male, ah? Why my road behind Balakong there got so many holes? Like woman liddat.

- Lee

Answer: Fuck you, bitch! First of all, it's NOT YOUR buttfucking road. It's KJ's. And you don't want to make KJ angry. Na-ah. You won't like KJ when he's angry.


Question 2:

O Lord, how do you cure cancer?

- Caleb Jehovah

Answer: Shoot the original cancer guy with a silver bullet.

Waitaminute. JEHOVAH?!

Quadra Magic Ultima, Quadra Magic Ultima, Quadra Magic Ultima, Quadra Magic Ultima! Summon! Knights of the Round! Mime!

Question 3:

I'm gay and I want to suck your dick! How much?

- Dan Perang

Answer: FUCK YOU, BITCH! USD400 million.

Question 4:

I am a 15 year old slut-ho whore-priestess. I want to fuck a goat. How?

Answer: Purchase a goat. RM400? Who gives a shit? Okay, steal a goat. Take the goat out to lunch (dinners are so passe and goats are diurnal, not nocturnal).

Then, after you got some chemistry going (crystal meth), propose to it and then douse yourself with gasoline and light yourself up with a wind-proof lighter. Then bang your head on the wall.

Then charge your funeral on the goat.

This is how you fuck a goat.

Alternatively, flash your smelly vagina to a PIS-M man.