Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Tales from the Drunk Side: Full Life Consequences

Sunder Raj, who is Mano Raj's brother and Keevan Raj's other brother and Logan Raj's other brother (inside joke, yo!), celebrated his 26th birthday today. Well, yesterday, actually.

After work, I immediately went to his so-called birthday dinner at this Brazillian barbecue place at Changkat Bukit Bintang.

I was totally expecting hordes of women, preferrably Brazillian-waxed, strutting around in their bikinis. Or at the very least topless or something.

What was there were basically Sunder's immediate family. I waited for OTHER friends to show up, like Chee or something, but it seemed like I was the only one. There were his brothers, his sister and his parents.

It was like Meet the Rajs or something.

I took Sunder to the side and told him, "You fucking idiot! Do you know the ramifications of asking a lone, single, hot, sexy male friend to a family function? They're gonna think we're gay, you fucking fucktard!"

And SUnder was like, "Thanks I could help, bro! Get some more Brazillian meat."

Previosuly, the night before, I went out with him and two of his brothers for a birthday drink which ended, strangely enough, with Sunder getting attacked by a horde of giant rats when he was pissing against a tree.

I'm not kidding you. Sunder went to a tree and pissed. While he was pissing, these giant rats started coming out and they were HUMPING his ass. True. The rats humped his ass. All true.

This is the kind of stuff Sunder gets into. And the lines he came up with!

To Zedeck Siew:

"Have you ever been propositioned by a man before?" said Sunder.


"I'm so manly, I'm gay."

Then the next day, when I ask him about it, he would say that he was just trying to mess with our minds.

As long as it's ONLY our minds you're messing with, it's okay, Sunder.

Because a gay SUnder just does not compute. He could not be anything other than a caveman.

Thing is, Sunder may be leaving us soon. To be a Canuck. He seems to belong more with the likes of weirdoes such as William Shatner and Stuttering Michael J Parkinson Fox than he does with us mortal Malaysians.

Oh well. Whereever you will end up, dude, happy birthday. And stay off the fucking rats this time, will ya?