Monday, July 21, 2008


Been coughing up blood, man. And bernadryl just gets me sleepier and sleepier. In fact, I just took a very unsatisfactory 30-minute nap because of the damned cough syrup.

My brain feels like it's being wrapped by a very wet towel. And STILL, I smoke my third pack of the day.

Some days you feel like shit, you know? You feel like listening to My Chemical Romance and Dashboard Confessionals and shit like that.

Thank God I don't have any of their faggy MP3s on my computer. I am listening to some Japanese jazz right now. Cause it's cool.

Some days, you feel good, other days you don't feel like crapping sunshine much. What to do? That's the way it goes, man. And if you ain't cool wit dat, I got two words for you - SUCK IT!

I don't feel like making jokes or butt-jokes. It's all fucking boring, man. This whole fucking wag the dog shit is boring.

Oh well, there are always things to get excited about.

I am currently involved in a deal which could net me a cool billion dollars. The deal is not there yet, and the only start was talking to some drunk guy at a pub somewhere.

But...what have I got to lose, eh?

I mean, if you have to aim at something, might as well aim for the moon, right? And the only reason I'm talking about it is because I know that the chances of it happening is close to zero. If it was at least 40%, I wouldn't even be writing this shit.

So I'm imagining this non-media-related billion-dollar deal to come through. Then I'd go and fucking leave this country.

I'd go and stay in one country for six months to a year, and then I'd leave. I'd write a book or a movie in each country, and then I'd leave.

I'd stay at a chateau in France, a manor in England, a keep in Scotland, a mountain hut in Japan, a ranch in AMerica.

And everywhere I go, I'd ride horses. SO I don't have to fucking exercise. The horse would exercise me for me.

I'd go to the beer museum in AMsterdam and I'd go to Vegas and play the one-armed bandits.

And I'd retire in Phuket. I'd set-up a library there. Employing AIDS sufferers and shit like that for good karma and shit.

And then, one day, when I am old and ready to die, the villagers would come as a torch-wielding mob. And they would burn my library to the ground - along with me in it(though I would have died hours earlier from all the smoke).

And then, there would be nothing left of me other than a charred spot on the earth. A few years from that point, even the spot would be gone, and I would be forgotten.

Not bad, huh? Just a quiet death.

I got it all planned out. I always have a plan. And usually, the results are much better than I could even imagine.

Because I am, after all, Amadeus - loved by God.