Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Tales from the Drunk Side: The Amazing Adventures of Amir Hafizi

Amir Hafizi woke up today and discovered that Amir Hafizi is a zombie goast.

"Oh no!" Amir Hafizi exclaimed, like a fag. "I now have to move to the countryside and become friends with John Freeman if I do not want John Freeman to shoot me in the head and it hurts to be shot there."

So Amir Hafizi went to the countryside like the speed of SPEED (ampethamines).

There Amir Hafizi saw many more zombie goasts. And headcrab zombies. And dead pants.

"Join us," said the zombie goasts to Amir Hafizi.

"NEVER!" said Amir Hafizi and shot something special at the zombie goasts. Then Amir Hafizi went on his motorcycl which was fast and had gas in it, though gas is expensive nowadays, and he went to a motel.

There, he met ego-bimbo-bitch final boss.

"I am headcrab zombie!" said Ego-Bimbo-Bitch Final Boss.

"No!" said Amir Hafizi. "You just have crabs."

And he found a wepon, yes a WEPON near a fountain and started shooting real fast at Ego-Bimbo-Bitch with crabs.

The bullets were fire bullets and burned all of Ego-Bimbo-Bitch's crabs.

"My crabs!" She screamed. But she was dead.

On the way out of the motel Amir Hafizi saw Milx, aka Mahathir Buang who STILL owes him RM11,700 and shoots WEPON at him.

"My crabs!" yelled Milx, but he was also dead.

"No you are not dead yet, Milx," said Amir Hafizi to Milx who was really just almost dead after being shot with WEPON.

"You have to move to the countryside and be friends with John Freeman and pay me my money first."

So Amir Hafizi brought Milx to the countryside and sold him as a bitch to the zombie goasts.

"Thank you, Amir Hafizi! For bringing us Milx which now has become our bitch. Here is RM11,700 for this kid's ass."

"Thank you," said Amir Hafizi. "This will help me pay my credit cards and my rent when some OTHER people have not paid me money yet which I thought would be good to give to the landlady who collects my rent."

And then Amir Hafizi went and started killing more zombie goasts even though he, himself, is a zombie goasts.