So I wake up today, and felt my back tingle. I was shivering, and coughing.
I reached for a tissue from a box beside by bed and coughed into it. Then I looked at it and saw...blood. BLOOD!
Me: OH MY GOD! I'M DYING!!!!111!!ONE!!!11ONE-HUNDRED AND ELEVEN!!!
To continue my monologue, I went to the mirror and saw my handsome, sexy face marred by red eyes and the Rudolph-syndrome.
Me: OH NOOOOO!!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!!!
So I messaged my bosses at the office. Told them I won't be able to come in.
Me: I CAN'T GO TO WORK CAUSE I MIGHT BE DYING! AND AT ONLY 28! OH, THE HUMANITY!
I should go to see a doctor, but I am too weak and lazy to call a cab.
Me: I'M GONNA DIE! I WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE THAILAND AGAIN! OH! OH! THIS IS NOT FAIR! WHY CAN KAY-JAY LIVE TO BE A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE AND I MAY BE A MILLIONAIRE ONLY...IF I LIVE FOR A FEW MORE YEARSSSS!!!! BUT I'M COUGHING BLOOD LIKE IN A TAMIL MOVIE. AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WOE IS ME!
Me: I CAN HEAR THE TAMIL MOVIE FLUTE! NO! NOT THE FLUTE! IT SIGNIFIES DEATH AND SACRIFICE. I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE, AND YOU WOULD NEED VIRGINS TO BE SACRIFICED!
And then I went to sleep.