Thursday, July 17, 2008

Tales from the Drunk Side

I hate politics.

And yet, a lot of people have asked me, "What's your political alignment?"

And I usually say, "Chaotic Neutral."

"No, I mean, which political party do you support?"

The real, honest to goodness answer, is, "Anyone who is in power."

I support winners.

So if PKR manages to be numero uno, I will say, "Anwar is NOT GAY! Hapus ISA!"

If DAP? I'll be an advocate of abolishing Malay rights. And getting Malays to live on trees again, so we can properly position Visit Malaysia Year Whatever.

Hindraf? The Indians were ethnically-cleansed!

PIS-M? I'll start beating up women tomorrow. And wear some Arab clothing. And douse myself with Islamic flavour.

UMNO? Ketuhanan Melayu, yo! Dude, where's my keris? (and my USD400 million)

I don't give a shit, really. Who the fuck cares? I just want to make money. Loads of money. And I don't have any dignity. No maruah. Maruah is baruah.

Got money? Can talk.

Hell, for USD400 million, I'll kiss whoever's ass. On live national TV. And I'll personally put it on fucking YouTube.

Then spend the rest of my 100 years getting raped by hot women.