Monday, February 2, 2009

The Primum Mobile

FINALLY got my Maxis Broadband issue settled. Even though in the beginning, I was thinking of making an issue of NOT paying Maxis Broadband for the almost non-existent Internet connection in December 2008 and well into January 2009, as well as the shitty connection all the time, I decided not to and got it up and running again.

So for the first time, I'm accessing the Net from my own computer. ALL of the postings you've read here in January were written on my Blackberry.

Observe my superior language skills as I manage only, on average, two to three grammatical and spelling mistakes per post. Without spellcheck, grammar check or even reading what I write again before posting it. Which reminds me. Fuk all a yez moderfookers'.

My ego is better than you. You are all child-raping trash who think you're better than me. But you're not. Cause I'm RIGHT and you're all WONG. I mean, WRONG.

Since I don't have a regular office job, I'll be even busier. I even bought a fucking organiser. Been spending hours in front of my own PC. Smoking. Overdosing on cough medication. Killing robots. And sometimes writing.

As such, I need a really good chair. A primum mobile - a prime mover. The seat of God.

Therefore, I am asking for a free chair from you. Yes, you. I will not pay a single cent. But rather, you will get the privilege of knowing that you have given a writing/office chair to the greatest writer who have ever lived.

On the chair, the greatest writer to have ever lived will place his ass and write the best, most powerful and historically significant pieces of shit the world has ever shoved down their throats.

My ass on YOUR chair = ORGASM.

So yeah. Give me your chair, fucktard. Stupid motherfuckers. You spent a lot on ringtones and religion anyway. Why not me?

So, send me an email - AND GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING CHAIR. Bitch.