Sunday, February 1, 2009

One in a Million

I am one of the million Malaysians who found themselves out of a regular job recently.

What I have discovered, this time around, is that a lot of people are afraid.

I don't really know exactly what they are afraid of. I will not pretend to understand.

As for me, the only thing I am afraid of, is myself.

I am the only person in the world capable of standing in my way. I am the only man who can sabotage me.

And I know myself too well.

The biggest danger for people like me, is arrogance. If I believe in my own hype, or the hype other people have created for me.

The ego is the only thing standing between me and my work.

Lots of people I encountered these past months, some of them, they expect others to throw respect and money their way. Some are perpetual victims - always wronged, always in the right.

Who knows? They may be right. They have it right, that that is the way to live. But they're damn annoying. To me. The time wasted bitching about things can alternatively be best used doing things that will change what is 'wrong' in the first place.

Time, friends, Romani, countrymen. Time IS money.

I did not sleep for one day, and was astonished at what I could do. Then again, that is self-made hype. Sleep-deprivation is not good for me. More when I spent 10 hours playing Super Robot Wars Alpha Gaiden.

Anyway, I come from a place of hoping for the best in people, expecting the worst. I do not know if it is the best way, or even one of the right ways. But there is only one way to find out.

The only thing that has ever served me in times when money and work seems to be like magic - seemingly coming like manna from the heavens when I do some incantations and dance naked around a bonfire - is pride in my work. Not in my ego, but in myself.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some pride to instill in some virtual paper.