Monday, October 4, 2010

Amir Hafizi and the Natural Philosophers, Stoned

Me: Hey, Socrates!

Socrates: You called?

Me: Yes, for the past hour. What's up, ugly guy?

Socrates: Ah, and is ugliness an absolute Truth, or does it depend on perception?

Me: Do you always answer everything with a question?

Socrates: ... Is there any other way?

Plato: Ugliness? Ugliness is an idea. No ugliness is True ugliness, merely a physical representation of the ugliness that exists in the idea plane.

Aristotle: What planes are you talking about? Airplanes? Electric wood planes? Roti canai plane?

Plato: You and your fucking labels. Grow up, 'Totle!

Aristotle: No, YOU grow up, you wishy-washy motherfucker. Mr 'God exists because the idea of God exists'.

Socrates: You said that?

Plato: I was merely placating the Church. They were on my ass for something.

Aristotle: I bet. *snicker*

Plato: What's up with you and asses anyway? We all know you don't like women. Pederast!

Socrates: Behold, as I drink this hemlock, probably to gain attention?

Aristotle: That's not hemlock. That's schlitz malt liquor. Ass.

Plato: See? The idea of ass is embodied within your head.

Me: What the fuck is this gay shit? Thank whatever I just got some pussy.