Saturday, October 16, 2010

Seksualiti Merdeka?

I've always hated it when anyone tells me, "You should do this or that cause you're a MAN!"

I mean, unless it is a situation when my dick is the only thing that can plug a leak on the walls around Holland, to hold back the sea and earning my dick the name Peter of Holland, those statements are judgmental and stupid.

Also, there are things I am expected to do as a man.

One wife-beater once told me, "Amir, you want a girlfriend."

Me: Errr. No. I want Thai go go girls.

Wife-Beater: You're a MAN! You want a girlfriend. You want to be loved. You know how to be loved?

Me: I am already beloved.

Wife-Beater: If you want to be loved, you gotta LIE to women. Women survive on water, air and LIES.

Me: Thanks, but I'll go with The Truth.

Wife-Beater: LIE to them, Amir! LIE!

I find this offensive, not for women, cause yes, they do want you to lie to them and beat them up and share their nude photos with everyone. I find it offensive as the wife-beater thought I was a breeder.

Hey, just because I'm considered a Malay, does not mean I make stupid high school hijinks the centerpoint of my existence. My grand plans are grand and epic, and usually disregard the sanctity of human lives or livelihood.

I am the Lord of Destruction. I oversee the falls of empires and genocides. I am that damn arrogant.

Just because I'm a man, they expect me to do stuff and not to do other stuff. I like showtunes and musicals, so some people think I'm gay. I make gay jokes with Rodek, and he thinks I'm gay.

There's nothing wrong with being gay - unless you listen to all religions which say that all homosexuals go to hell regardless of how much praying they do - but I'm just NOT gay.

And I don't fall into the normal male patterns just for the sake of proving I am 'a man'.

I don't want to lie to people. It eats up in my conscience and it is a point of arrogance and pride of mine that I only tell The Truth, with allowances for plausible deniability.

I don't want to cheat. If I don't want to be with a go go girl or a woman, I just say, fuck off and die, I'm finding another whore.

I don't want to beat people up, cause that's just over-compensating for the size of my dick.

And unless my girlfriend is Maria Ozawa and she is looking for a job, I have no intention of taking amateur nude photos of women and spreading them around, boasting of my sexual activities with her. Because I find that lame.

I have access to all the porn in the world. Why would I want to make my own? To prove that I'm a man? More like, to prove how small my dick is, or how limp. And my dick is not small or limp.

It is bulbous.

Anyway, that's besides the point.

The point is, I am HETEROSEXUAL and proud of it. I'll organise a Straight Pride march if I could get a permit, and rub my sexuality and perhaps my sex in other people's faces.

Suck my dick while I'm pissin'.