Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Kuantan Aftermath

Am back in KL. Too tired to die (Mira Sorvino and Takeshi Kaneshiro). Am gonna go pass out in a few minutes.

Did what I could. Some things are beyond my control. Some things are. So I am going to focus only on things I can control. If other people fuck up, it has nothing to do with me. I can't do everything for everyone.

Hey, man, what the fuck you expect me to do?

Immediately, as I got back, I felt the urge to pick fights with politilocos. But that all can wait till tomorrow.

I am going back to Kuantan next week. Already cancelled a trip to Bangkok I've been planning for weeks. It's about the time I need to make myself available, just in case shit happens.

My father's next appointment is next week. Two months from now, he will undergo a procedure to stave off some damage to his eyes due to diabetes and old age.

If he is to make any kind of recovery, I need to be on top of my game. Which means thinking several moves ahead.

I know the terrain. I know the people. I understand the personalities involved. The resources. And what needs to be done.

This past week has stretched me beyond where I've gone before. I only panicked as I approached the breaking point. As I went past it and beyond, a crazy calm dominated me.

I understand the risks, the possibilities. I got all the information I would ever need. Only thing left to do is to go for it. Go through it.

If for the next two months, his condition does not improve, we are facing some very grim possibilities.

One thing, though. You motherfuckers better get your act straight. I got nothing real left to lose. Nothing to threaten me with.

Mess with the best, die like the rest.