Saturday, December 25, 2010

Why Straight Men Should Encourage Homosexuality

Yeah, yeah, there are other, more popular issues out there, but I just got to run my mouth about this gay shit thing.

I am a straight man who promotes homosexuality. You know why? Purely from a business angle. It takes out the competition.

The more men fucking each other means MOAR PUSSEH FOR MEH! And I loooove pussy. I'd munch on pussies all day long and all night long, if I could.

Yeah, I'm a munchin' motherfucker!

Imagine this. You're at a club. Everyone's getting drunk. All the chicks are surrounding your gay friend, not knowing he's gay and attracted to the fact that he coordinates his wardrobe and uses a three-step facial regiment religiously every night for the past 15 years.

The night moves on. Later, your gay friend is seen munching on a hideous man's face, cause his deal is he likes to fuck ugly men to feel like he's the pretty one.

All the girls now are scared and confused. See, women have this need, this desire, to feel as if their vaginas are worth something. That their vaginas can never fail.

Being stood up and ignored by a good-looking man for an ugly turd with a beer belly will send shockwaves to the roots of their ego.

This, my friends, is THE window of opportunity.

Having demonstrated, without being over-compensating, your virile heterosexual status all night long, the women with self-respect issues have nowhere to turn to other than your dick.


I believe that working together, gay men and straight men can be quite effective.

And for gay women? They are a gift from God. Do you know how hard it is to convince a straight woman to do a threesome? Do you?

I obviously don't, cause I'm a fucking virgin.

Anyway, gay women means threesomes all day, everyday!

So in conclusion, we must promote homosexuality in order to get MOAR PUSSEH!