Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Final Flight of Osiris

We approach the end, and I am making preparations for next year.

It is my plan to start 2011 as a non-smoker. My plans never come true, but they always turn out better.

The next year will hopefully see a shift in my finances for the better. I am doing away with a lot of unnecessary stuff.

For example, I used to take girls out to expensive restaurants, but there are those who don't give me even a blowjob.

I mean, you take them to one of the best French restaurants in town, and you expect a threesome with her hot sister or at least anal, but then they turn around and say - while having dinner with you - that they will never date you cause you have childish tastes.

Yeah, fine dining is childish, indeed. And I aim not to be childish, so FUCK EXPENSIVE FOOD.

Man, I had a list of stuff I expect from women I feed. Here's a list for a meal at these establishments:

1. Roach-infested stall

- Nothing. Well, maybe flash me your tits or something.

2. Mamak Restaurant

- First base

3. McDonald's

- Second base

4. Wendy's, Chili's and the like

- Oral sex

5. Amarin Thai

- Sex

6. DeliCious with a bottle of Pinot Noir

- Kinky sex

7. Cafe Cafe

- Threesome (with her hot sister) or anal sex

8. A RM1,000 per head dinner at an exclusive Japanese restaurant in Bukit Bintang

- Anal, Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochism, humiliation, watersports, scatology, bestiality, group sex, roleplay, red ropes spinning dragon technique, necrophilia and snuff.

Well, I'm throwing this list out because I am not taking any girl out to anything more than roach-infested stalls next year.

I haven't gone out drinking at night in a while and do not plan to continue. I plan to stay home most of the time, and read my backlog of books.

I'm also looking at many cost-cutting measures and won't be as generous as before. I can't be picking up the tabs all the time anymore. Sorry.

I guess 2011 is the year when I'm going to be an asshole. A very successful asshole.