Monday, December 27, 2010

If Life Was Like a Yu-Gi-Oh Cartoon: Lunch of Doom

I went to the mamak restaurant just now.

Mamak: I summon Kari Kambing in attack mode! 1600 attack points! And I set three cards in face down position.

Me: My turn. I play my magic card Pot of Greed and draw two more cards. I play Graceful Charity and draw three cards, discarding two. I play a monster in face down defence position. I set three cards face down and end my turn.

Mamak: I summon Nasi Lebih in attack position! When Nasi Lebih and Kari Kambing are on the field, I activate their effect and summon Ayam Goreng! I equip the card Fried Egg of Despair on Kari Kambing, raising its attack to 2600 points!

Me: Huh? Can't be...

Mamak: Now! Kari Kambing! Attack his face down monster!

Me: I activate the trap card Negate Attack, ending your battle phase!

Mamak: Uhhh... that was a good attack. I end my turn.

Me: Now, I FLIP SUMMON! My monster Cyber Jar destroys all monsters on the field and we each draw five cards, summoning all four-star monsters or below to the field immediately.

Amir summons three Slate Warriors and one Gemini Elf with an attack of 1900 each to the field. Mamak has none.

Me: Now, I sacrifice Gemini Elf to bring Jinzo onto the field. I equip Jinzo with United We Stand, increasing his attack points by 3200 points! Plus, Mage Power for an additional 2500 attack points! He is at 8100 attack points! Now, I equip him with Fairy Meteor Crush!

Mamak: Oh no!

Me: Jinzo! Attack his life points directly!

Mamak: I activate Scapegoat! Now I have four sheep tokens on the field!

Me: Huhuhu. You forget. The Fairy Meteor Crush card allows me to subtract the defence points of your monsters from Jinzo's attack points and attack your life points directly. Since your Sheep Tokens have 0 attack and 0 defence, I inflict 8100 damage! You lose!

Mamak: How can this be?

Me: Huhuhuhu.

Mamak: I activate... Intestinal Crush trap card!

Me: What's this? You're activating a Trap?

mamak: I may lose now, but you will be infected.

Me: Oh now! All that fiber I absorbed is makiing me wanht to take a dump! Owhhh! I'm in pain!

Mamak: Feel the wrath of Mamak!

It took a superhuman effort, but I managed to get home and have one of the greatest shits in history.