Sunday, December 26, 2010

Boxing Night

I spent the past 24 hours doing mostly nothing. I did some work, but with my usual load, it's actually just a fraction.

I decided to take a break. I know my limits, and while some might push too hard, I know from experience that if I do, I would end up in the hospital and take away more of my time. And no one would visit anyway, save for some very close people.

Usually, I push for other people. I thought that being selfish was being evil, so I suppressed that part for a long time.

And it opened doors for people to try and manipulate or use me. They always end up in really bad predicaments, because I am not a simple weapon or tool they can simply wield. Anyone and everyone who has ever tried usually find themselves in really bad situations.

Not from my doing. Oh no, man. I generally just felt guilty that I did not manage to help as many people, including these idiots.

However, with the discovery that guilt is for Christians, I decided some time ago to do stuff for my own and lose the superhero dementia.

The thing is, it is possible to do anything and everything without emotion. No fear, anger, hatred, greed or any of that shit. Emotion, is like radioactive material. You can get nuclear energy out of them, and they can also mutate you - not into tight-wearing superheroes, but into slime monsters.

My journey to freedom is approaching its endgame. There are a few last moves to pull. Some stuff to complete. Some stuff to send.

And then, The Prestige.