Saturday, May 8, 2010

The Malay Male Talks About Love

Some people on Facebook and Twitter are talking about love, so I think I'll weigh in on the matter.

They are saying that, "We love without reason, and without reason, we hate."

The late Yasmin Ahmad once said, "You do not need to understand anyone to love them."

"Love belongs to Desire, and Desire is always cruel," wrote Neil Gaiman.

Me? I just don't give a fuck. I love chicken, for example. I don't know why. Maybe because it's delicious. I love playing SUper Robot Wars Alpha and Alpha Gaiden, cause it seems like the game was made with my interests in mind.

Other than that, nothing. I feel nothing. I don't feel numb. I just feel nothing, and that, to me, is happiness.

One Malay dude who wears sunglasses even indoors (to better check out your boobs, my dear) once asked me, derisively, almost contemptuously, "Have you ever been in love?" Cause he thinks I'm like George in Seinfeld.

He was retaliating to my attack on family units.

I thought for a while, what Chris Rock said on the matter: "If you have never thought about murder, you ain't never been in love."

And I thought about my plans for genocide and going by Chris Rock's definition, I was probably very much in love.

But I said to him, "Do hookers count?"

And the guy smiled, a sneer on his already ugly stupid face.

Eventually, this guy lost his job, his girlfriend, and had rumours about his dick being small and tasting sour spread all over Malaysia.

Here, my friend, is my last laugh: