Friday, October 1, 2010

The Return of the Could-Have-Beens

You know, people come to me, telling me how they want to do this or that. And they never do.

Fucking morons.

"Amir, let's start a goat-herding thing."

"Sure! Goats breed like crazy, and it is unlucky indeed for a goat to just have twins. They usually get triplets or more. The new breed of goats are even healthier and produce more milk. Goat milk is the most widely-used in the world, not cows'. And it's useful for those lactose-intolerant people as well."

"Er, right."

Fast-forward five years later, and nada.

Then, they come again.

"Amir, I have 20 acres of land on lease. I want to plant something."

"Sure! How about asparagus? They can grow up to six inches in a DAY! It's relatively expensive in Malaysia and the export potential is tremendous! And get this idea - Halal vegetables! Huh? Huh?"

"Mm... sure."

Five years pass us by.

"So, how's the farming thing? You know, it doesn't have to be asparagus. Can be anything. Bamboo. Vanilla, blablabla."

"I'm waiting."

Fuck, man. They'll never do anything. And most will never call me back. Why?

Simple. Whenever anyone approaches me with a business idea, I always ask them, "Have you done your due dilligence?"

Which means, as I explain to them, you need to find out how much you need to start things up, how much profit you need to generate for how long until you break even. You also need to find out, how things work and how to turn a profit.

For example, goat-rearing. What kind of goats, how many goats, on how big a piece of land? How much do you need for fencing costs? What kind of material for the fence? Manpower issues. How long until they start breeding? How much milk can you get? How do you get the milk? Who do you sell the milk to? For how much? How do you get the milk/meat from point A to point B? Is there a market for it? What about the export market? Who do you need to talk to, in order to get your product overseas? What about packaging? Logistics? Storage?

So when I get through with an idea, the amount of work seems crazy, to these people. And they get scared and lethargic. They like to be lulled in the delusion that rearing goats or planting stuff is just an easy job. Just do some initial, easy stuff, and forget about it. And then shake leg, get lots of money.

Fuck you, man.

Look, motherfucker, I grew up with agriculture projects around me. And I am in the entertainment business for around seven years now. No business is easy. Everything requires your attention, presence and hard work.

And you need to know stuff. If you don't, find out. Find out the most basic thing - profit margins. If you do something for 10 million, make sure three million is yours. If you do something and you make a gross of 100 bucks, make sure you get 30 bucks nett, at least.

Think big, motherfucker!

Simple shit, but some people don't speak to me anymore about their business dealings, because I'm labeled a spoilsport. They don't like to hear about all this work. They just like the idea of having an idea.

They want other people to look at them and think or better yet, say, "Oh, he COULD HAVE BEEN this or that."

And then they have the cheek to turn to me and say, since I'm all New Age and shit, that I have no drive.

Who knows? Maybe I don't. But I'm not THAT stupid either. I may be a dreamer, but I'm not THAT dumb.

Stupid fucking morons. Don't come to me with your bullshit. Without actually sitting down and actually do something about shit, you're just all talk, motherfucker. Fucking cowards.

And then, if they do sit down and initiate some work, they always blame other people. In fact, for some, blaming other people is the only thing they want. They do stuff, so that one day they could blame other people.

"Oh, I COULD HAVE done this or that, but the Government prevented me from doing so."

Or

"Fucking Chinese have a monopoly!"

Or

"Fucking Malays have crutches. How can I compete?!"

Or

"He won't let me do that!"

Or

"She won't let me do that!"

Fact is, you're all morons. Suck my dick.

It's not race. Well, yes, sometimes racism does play a part, but you know what a bigger part is? YOU. You're bigger than racism. You're bigger than the Government. You MAKE the Government. So you can break it too, if you want.

Lazy ass motherfuckers. Go and die! Death to all your family members. Take your stupid fucking gene pool out of the whole shit.