You know, despite my awesome good looks and towering intellect, I do not hold the keys to anyone's salvation or solution. Except my own. And my work.
I have amassed an amazing pile of information, a pile that sometimes amazes even me, but most of it is really useless.
I mean, I know how fish in deep-seas see. They don't really use their eyes, cause there is very little light.
I know about Ragnarok. Yggdrasil. I know about Westphalian sovereignity and the Care Bears. I know Gi Joe and My Little Pony and Friends.
I know a lot about green energy. I understand how computers work and talk to each other.
I know a lot of mythology and folklore. I know animation and comic books.
I also know a lot about the human body. The brain is my favourite thing to read about.
So, nowhere in this chaos of data, is anything about you or people. I don't really spend my days thinking about other people, other than myself. Everything is always in relation to me.
Sometimes, I don't even see faces. Just featureless mannequins. Just huge, vast fields filled with hell-dwellers and the damned.
Not that I hate people. No, far from it.
It's just that I really don't care about little things, daily minutiae, unless it is about me. There's only one character ever, at any time, inside my head - ME.
I see myself as the singularity and the focal point of all events and experiences. There are no other characters. It's like in that movie Being John Malkovich.
This, my friends, is the ego. My ego - notice the 'my' - constructs worlds where the only population is me.
And the world, according to the ego, is very small indeed. But the universe, in reality, is very big. There are events constantly happening everywhere, sometimes so fast and so small that they could hardly have been said to have happened at all.
There are limitless things to explore, do and experience. I really don't have the time to sit down for idle chatter, do I?
My concerns are different. I go for cosmic balance and karmic harmony, again, in relation to myself.
So if you'll excuse me, I need to fend off some invasions from a two-dimensional plane where one arboreal brain has assimilated all of consciousness.
As the Metabaron of this universe, it is my duty to destroy this two-dimensional dimension.