Captain's log, stardate 64239.2.
Upon briefing the Away Team on our next mission aboard V-58 and the crucial time factor related to the mission, I have chanced upon some other overlooked tasks.
Assigning Science Officer Commander Morningstar has proven beneficial. He is on the verge of purging all unnecessary emotions and psychological complexes from the ship. Productivity has risen by 40 per cent and dependence on dilithium crystals has subsided.
There will be a huge undertaking two star dates from today - actually, one and a half star dates.
But that can wait. First, the tasks at hand.
Spunk. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the star-child Amir Hafizi. His continuing mission, to explore strange, new girls. To seek out, new sex, and new copulations. To boldly go where a lot of men have gone before.
Deee dededeeeeeng, de de denggg!