I like arguing with doctors. The good ones are as calm as Hindu cows, while the bad ones are stupid and usually insecure about their stupidity.
For instance, I once suffered severe pain in my lower abdomen. I got myself into the ER of a private hospital.
Me: Doctor, can you give me a shot of sedatives? Morphine would do.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I am experiencing severe pains in my lower left abdomen. I do not think it is my appendics. Must be something to do with either my intestines, colon, kidney or bladder.
Doctor: Hm.
Me: C'mon! Give me a shot!
He called over some med students and gave me a jab in my ass. It was just a needle with no medication, designed to illustrate either a placebo effect on a hypocohondriac to med students, or perhaps show that some druggies try to scam morphine.
I knew he injected nothing cause there is a difference, you know.
They wheeled me to the CT-Scan, intending to charge me inflated test charges. After the scan, I puked from the pain.
It was only then that they finally gave me my morphine.
I woke up to an apologetic doctor who administered the bullshit shot.
Doctor: You have kidney stones. And... no one can know what kind of pain that was, unless they have it themselves.
I was hospitalised for two weeks. It was the second time I was warded for stress-related illnesses.
My father suffered from his fourth stroke one time, so we took him to three doctors before I got what I wanted - an MRI for the old man.
Me: I think he suffered from a stroke. Can we use an MRI?
Doctor 1: We don't have an MRI.
Me: I know. You're in a clinic. Can I request for a letter from you to request for an MRI from a facility that does have it?
Doctor 1: Okay. But see this doctor first.
Blah blah blah.
Doctor 2: Oh, after examining your father, I believe he needs an MRI. It stands for Mechani-mm-magneto-
Me: Magnetic Resonance Imaging?
Doctor 2: Ah, yes, that. But it's expensive. You can also use a CT-Scan for his brain. It's cheaper.
Me: Yeah, but with like, 20 times the radiation of an X-Ray? I don't think so.
Blah blah blah.
Doctor 3: Your father has had at least four strokes, possibly five or six, based on this image.
Me: Right. So what's the medication?
Doctors in Malaysia have greatly improved. I know some great ones. But once in a while, I do meet people in the medical fraternity who are rude and condescending.
All I need is information. I'm not here to judge doctors, cause if that's what I do, I would go and fucking kill some of them, and give others a bonus.
There's one doctor in Kuantan whom I know is really, really good. Very present, very aware, does not panic and answers all my questions completely. Now THAT's a doctor who knows his shit.
In my life, I have been hospitalised many times. Four for stress-related illnesses while on the job as a journalist. I have been to many of the private medical facilities and know which ones serve the best food as well as the best care.
I have a low-degree hemophobia, though. I can't stand the sight of blood gushing out. Makes me weak and light-headed.
Before going to Thailand, I read a few medical journals on STDs and other contagious diseases. Condoms only work 86% of the time to prevent STDs and pregnancies. There is a five per cent chance of you contracting HIV if you go without condoms with someone who has AIDS. Actually, needle-sharing exposes you to higher risks. The type of HIV strain in Thailand is Type-5 - the most virulent and causes the highest death toll.
I have problems with my lungs due to my heavy smoking, so I read up a lot on respiratory illnesses. I also take care of my colons by taking lots of fibre, drinking lots of water and shitting a lot.
I drink three litres of water a day. SOmetimes, I go for four litres. That's twice the daily need.
I'm not afraid of death, but I don't want to spend the last 10 or 20 years of my life hooked up to machines. Unless the machine is the Iron Man armour.
