I am looking through this old thing I wrote, to send it to a guy who wants to do ambitious projects.
I wrote this thing when I was 19 years old. Looking back, I couldn't help but smile at my young self.
Oh, how naive I was. And how innocent. And how naive and innocent I am still. And so good-looking. And of course, so fucking smart.
I read my pitch, something I sent to numerous animation companies, with no shame or trepidation, no baggage or whatever.
I actually wrote some stuff, not following any format because I have yet to see formats back then. Just pure idea. Pure creativity.
I wanted to do an epic cartoon series that would span at least three seasons. SOmething that would define generations of kids and young people. Something that I could show off properly.
These would have been the greatest shows ever, on Malaysian TV, and beyond.
O, what dreams I had in my youth. Lament! Lament!
When I was younger, everything was so clear. I would become a journalist for eight years, following the path of Neil Gaiman, and then write a career-defining comic book, and then go on to write movies and TV series when I was in my 40s.
And then I'd write my first book when I reach 50.
Fueled by these dreams, I sent my material to hundreds of publishers and companies. I got 20 rejection letters with advice for a 19-year-old wannabe.
I gave up a decade ago. And today, someone just asked me for all these things which 10 years ago was impossible to do.
My, oh my.
It doesn't matter if things don't work out. It doesn't matter if I have to wait another 10 years. I just feel really good right now.
And to realise this, I am going to clean up the mess my 19-year-old self made, and dream the dream again.